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Cause and effect paper - getting over abuse


jkolhagen 1 / -  
Oct 23, 2006   #1
Have you ever had someone abuse you whether mentally or physically? How does abuse begin and what creates the monster? What are ways to cope with the mental or physical abuse? Do you have to become abusive if you were abused when you were a child, or are there ways to get away from that? I'm going to talk about what happened in my life and how things changed, then ways to get over it without becoming abusive. There are many different types of abuse, why is it that a lot of times people that get abused eventually get married to someone who is abusive? A lot of people get abused and completely let go of their life so how can you take control and not let the abuse break you down and take over?

So what causes someone to become abusive and are there ways to avoid becoming like your abuser? In my case, the consumption of alcohol and drugs played a major factor in the mental abuse that I went thru. The abuser happened to be my brother and it hurt me a lot and changed my life for a long period of time. The alcohol built hatred for me and my family. He told me he hated me and told me how stupid I was. Also, he said that no body wanted me and I was just a burden. He threatened to kill me; throw me off our upstairs banister, or to throw me out my window. It went on from the time I was eleven and until I was about thirteen. He was sixteen and it continued until he was kicked out at eighteen. He didn't really care what my parents thought; he was oblivious to anything except what he wanted to do and was going to do, so he was always getting into fights with my parents, so that built up his anger.

The effects of the mental abuse were very difficult for me to get over. I wasn't able to trust anyone, because I thought everyone was out to get me and would try to hurt me. Also, I didn't want friends because I felt like I wasn't important so why would they want me as a friend. Also, I wanted to be by myself and not have anything to do with people. I played on the internet a lot, because, I could be myself and not have to worry about whether the person liked me or not since it was just on the internet. I didn't believe in myself so I used to act like I was someone else so people would start to like me, because I didn't think people would like the real me. I was extremely insecure at that point of time and it took me a couple years before I began to believe that people like me for who I am. It also took a long time before me and my brother started talking again, in fact we just recently began talking a lot 6 years after the incident.

I used many different ways to get over the abuse and begin to live like myself and not be so insecure. Just by being around people will help, even if you don't want to talk to them, just don't seclude yourself from every person, because then you will start to feel lonely and that you don't have any self worth. Never let something like that take you down and make you do things that will mess you up and make you do things that you know are wrong just so you can fit in. Trying to make yourself seem cool is not worth it, just be yourself and people will like you. Faking a lifestyle is not cool, and people will eventually figure out that your pretending to be something your not. If you just accept yourself for whom you are, and don't worry about what anyone says, you will live a better life, and won't have to continue trying to live up to a certain expectation.

So, if you just believe in yourself and realize that those things are not your fault, you will be able to overcome the situation and move on with your life. Your life will become a blessing if you let go of the past and embrace the future and be yourself. People really do like having friends who are their self.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Oct 23, 2006   #2
Greetings!

You have written a good essay with a strong, personal perspective. I do have some minor corrections to suggest:

"had someone abuse you whether" > "had someone abuse you, whether"

"There are many different types of abuse, why is it that a lot of times people that get abused eventually get married to someone who is abusive?" > this is a run-on sentence composed of two completely different thoughts. If you say there are many types of abuse, you need to then go on and list what they are.

"So what causes" > "What causes"
"abuse that I went thru." > "abuse that I went through."
" no body" > "nobody"
"He threatened to kill me; throw me off our upstairs banister, or to throw me out my window." > either use two semi-colons or two commas, not one of each. If you put "to" before "throw" one time, do it both times -- think balance.

"I was eleven and until" > "I was eleven until"
"was going to do, so he was always" > was going to do. He was always
You don't need to start sentences with "Also . . ."
"I played on the internet a lot, because, I could be myself and not have to worry about whether the person liked me or not since it was just on the internet." > I played on the internet a lot because I could be myself and not have to worry about whether the person liked me."

"at that point of time" > "at that point in time"
"It also took a long time before me and my brother started talking again, in fact we just recently began talking a lot 6 years after the incident. > "It also took a long time before my brother and I started talking again. In fact we just recently began talking a lot, six years after the incident." ["The" incident? Wasn't it a series of incidents over a long time?]

"Just by being around people will help, even if you don't want to talk to them, just don't seclude yourself from every person, because then you will start to feel lonely and that you don't have any self worth." > "Just by being around people will help; even if you don't want to talk to them, don't seclude yourself from every person. That will make you feel lonely and diminish your self-worth."

"not worth it, just be yourself" > "not worth it; just be yourself"
"your pretending to be something your not." > "you're pretending to be something you're not."
"for whom you are > "for who you are"
"their self" > "themselves"

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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