Hey guys, I was just wondering if anyone out there that is pretty good in the grammar and punctuation department could read over this paper and tell me what to change? I happen to always miss something when proof-reading it myself and being that we're on spring break and campus is closed, it would be awesome if I got someone elses opinion before class on Monday. Thanks in advance, be as critical as you need to be!
Cause and Effects of Computer Addiction
In the 21st Century, computer addiction isn't all that uncommon anymore. Now that anyone can get a relatively good PC without breaking the bank, more people are getting hooked without even knowing it. I can personally attest to computer addiction being a real problem in society today. With online banking, shopping, TV/movies, games, and other various means of entertainment, there's really no need to leave the house other than for physical interaction.
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Cause and Effects of Computer Addiction
In the 21st Century, computer addiction isn't all that uncommon anymore. Now(,) that anyone can get a relatively good PC without breaking the bank, more people are getting hooked without even knowing it. I can personally attest to computer addiction being a real problem in society today(remove today /...in the society). With online banking, shopping, TV/movies(donot use abbreviations...television...), games, and other various means of entertainment(. you have to stop here and begin a new sentence), there's( .There is....) really no need to leave the house other than for physical interaction.
It all starts when you open the internet browser for the first time and find something that is capable of holding your attention for what seems like only minutes, which eventually turns into hours(long sentence). World of Warcraft is one of the major time 'sink holes'(fullstop), but let's not forget about the companies that produce and support 'mini games' on Facebook like 'Farmtown', 'YoVille', 'Mafia Wars', among others. They're all fueling internet-goers (that...)urges to stay online with the promise of more in-game currency and experience points.
Most of us have stayed on the computer much longer than we had originally intended. But, when you start looking for signs of addiction you can almost always notice the same pattern. The typical pattern is as follows:( never use this in you essay ":") lost track of time, conscious efforts to cut back on computer time and repeatedly failing, thinking frequently about the computer when not using it, or constantly looking forward to the next opportunity to use it. Others tend to use the computer as a means to 'escape' from the 'real world' when they're feeling depressed or stressed.
The beginning stages of addiction begin when your need to stay online takes(check your idea ...begin...need ..takes ...where is the subject of each one) precedence over going out with friends and being socially active. Relationships begin to wither as the user stops attending social gatherings, skips meetings with friends and avoids family members to get more computer time. Even when they do interact with their friends, users may become irritable (when away???) from the computer, causing further social harm.
Eventually, excessive use of the computer can cause( cause is always followed by a noun, not a verbe ) the user( to withdraw) completely from society. When the user is constantly gaming on the PC( no abbriviation), it can cause someone to place more value on something within the game rather than things happening in their real lives, such as choosing to compete in a 'tournament' at 5 PM ( very precis detail 5 pm/ write the numbers in letters)when they have class at that time.
Some of the long-term effects of computer addiction which include (include what?)but are not limited to: carpal tunnel, diminishing eye sight, weight gain, back problems, and blood clots (from sitting at the computer for too long). As for the late night computer sessions, these can cut into much needed sleep time. Long-term sleep deprivation can cause drowsiness, problems concentrating, and slowing of the immune system. Computer addiction can also indirectly lead to poor overall physical condition and even obesity. Sooner than later, the consequences of computer addiction will catch up to the user. Late-night use or misuse on the job will affect overall job performance, which could eventually lead to demotion or job loss. As the addiction takes its toll on your immediate family and significant other( other what?), it may eventually lead to a failed marriage.
While medical professionals do not agree that it is possible to become addicted to the computer(do not use "\,/" in your writing ....computer and internet)/internet, it is withou doubt a real problem in today's society. With technology advancing every day and computers continuously getting cheaper, it's only going to get easier and more convenient for children to stay at home on the computer rather than going to play outside with their friends. Doctors from around the globe suspect an even larger increase in childhood obesity and early onset diabetes as more children are choosing to stay 'connected' for longer time frames. Is computer/(and)internet addiction a real threat to our society? Only time will tell.
your english is perfect
you have to pay more attention for the sentences .when you have to stop , how to coordinate them.
The typical pattern is as follows:( never use this in you essay ":")
Hey, I use colons all the time. Why not use them? If colons are bad for writing style, I want to know so I can avoid them or write an essay in protest of the convention. I like colons for an important reason: they help me express ideas efficiently.
The beginning stages of addiction begin when your need to... --- I agree that this part is awkward. Just change begin to "are observable"
This material looks great!
