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CBEST Writing Technology is very much a part of modern life. Many people see technology as a force

weilinh 1 / 1  
Apr 24, 2020   #1
Please rate and give comments on this essay. (word usage/structure/coherence)

The impact of technology on societies

Technology has become a big part in our daily life. We can see technology everywhere around us. However, there are always arguments on whether technology is positive or negative to the society. People think technology is negative because it could be distracting, for example, people are looking at their phones every day in their life. On the other hand, people with positive opinions upon technology think technology is great because of the improvements it brings to us. In my opinion, I think the contribution of technology has made to modern life has been more positive. With technology, education, work and daily life have all become easier and more convenient to us.

Technology made education more accessible. Nowadays, there are plenty of online educational resources that people could access from anywhere in the world. The online education benefits people who could not be in the classroom in person for reasons. For example, some colleges offer online degree which all lessons will be taught through the online platform. In this way, people don't have to come to the university in order to get the education, which greatly reduce the costs of college. Thus, education is more convenient and more accessible to people because of the technology.

Technology brings flexibility and mobility to our work. Nowadays, people don't have to come to their office to get their work done especially those people in the tech field. People's work becomes more flexible because of the use of technology. Some people wasted a long time on transportation could now spend extra time at their home working on projects with the help of remote work technology system, such as employee portal and Zoom for online conferences.

Life becomes more convenience with technology. Technology allows people to have a lighter and more convenient life. For example, as we notice that in some countries, especially in China, people don't have to bring their wallets when they go out for shopping, and everything they need is their phone. They could simply scan their QR code for checkout at the counter. In addition, people don't have to bring a lot of paper records to the doctors because every record can be accessed online. In general, technology makes our life easier because we don't have to worry about paper records since everything can be stored online nowadays.

In conclusion, technology has more positive impacts on education, work and life. Without technology, we might find it difficult to access information and perform necessary activities efficiently. I think as the technology is improving, our life will become more and more convenient over time.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15036 4827  
Apr 25, 2020   #2
You forgot to upload the prompt for this essay along with your written work. I won't be able to assess your work based on the scoring criteria without it. I need the question so that I will know what points to focus on in your response. I would specifically need to focus on whether or not your narrative aligns itself with the prompt instructions. The best I can do for now is just give you a grammar review. You can always write another essay, upload the prompt with the essay at this forum, and receive a complete review from me then.

Like most essay writers, you decided to take a casual tone to your presentation. You decided to use conjunctions in your presentation. As a future educator, you should know that using conjunctions is a big no-no in academic writing. It is never don't, it is "do not". This is really a very common error among all exam takers, regardless of the type of exam so don't beat yourself up about it. Just make sure you do not make the same mistake going forward.

Grammar corrections:

some colleges offer online degree which all lessons - online degreeS where all lessons...

You started with the plural form of college so you have to stick with the plural representations throughout. The degree is taught online so it is not "which" but "where" indicating the location.

People do not "come to the university", they "go to the university".

Several other sentence structure errors exist in this essay which I can only correct if I rewrite the whole essay. Which, I am not allowed to do per forum policies. Sorry about that. I promise to give you a more comprehensive review of your second essay though. Just remember to provide the prompt so I can do that.
OP weilinh 1 / 1  
Apr 25, 2020   #3
Thank you so much for your response, below is the prompt of the essay :)

Technology is very much a part of modern life. Many people see technology as a force that has escaped from human control. Others feel that technology has improved the quality of life. Do you think that the contribution technology has made to modern life has been positive or negative? State your position on this issue and support it with appropriate examples.

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