Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


There are more challenges and risks than benefits to new technology.



Nghian 1 / -  
May 14, 2024   #1
In the era where technology enhances at an unprecedentedly fast pace, there has been a growing concern about whether this is a boon or bane. While many people are of the opinion that the advent of state-of-the-art technology would do more harm than good, I would argue that these scientific breakthroughs would benefit humans in every aspect.

It is undeniable that the introduction of new technology is associated with many risks. One of the most concerning issues related to technological development is the threat it poses to the environment. It has been a perennial problem to solve the issue of resource scarcity, as the amount of resources used for producing a high-tech machine is enormous, let alone for inventing new ones through errors and trials. More severely, the process of creating a machine requires the burning of many fossil fuels, which, needless to say, either deteriorates the air quality or makes the bad condition of the environment irreversible. A conspicuous case in point is that it is not uncommon to witness many factories, though promise appropriate processes of waste and water disposal, fail to fulfill their compromise, which is evident by the fact that there is still heavy dark smog emitted through the chimneys of these factories.

That said, let us not forget that the optimal purpose of these high-tech inventions is to serve humans. The advent of autonomation and robotics have helped carry all the heavy lifting for humans, reducing the heavy burden for a large and highly skilled workforce. Mass-produced products are believed to have a higher level of efficiency and uniformity compared to man-made, and it is not to mention the fact that machine-made products are more sophisticated as machines can pay attention to the most trivial details that cannot be seen by humans' eyes. For this reason, many companies favor machine-made products over their human-made counterparts as this helps to reduce the cost of products, which benefits both the business and the consumers. Many novel inventions in household appliances are also one of the perks of technological advances. In the past, it would take hours to finish all the household chores. In this contemporary era, however, with the help of modern technology, machines can do all the work for humans. The time spent on doing domestic chores could be more well-spent on other work, both working and entertaining.

In conclusion, although it cannot be denied that there are many hazards in the enhancement of technology, I strongly believe that if used properly, these inventions would benefit us in one way or another.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
May 17, 2024   #2
You weakened your own opinion and evidence presentation in the essay when you agreed in the first reasoning paragraph that there is a reason to be concerned with the advent of new technology. Why? Your own opinion is that the benefits outweigh the risks. Therefore, you should not be contradicting yourself. When you counter your own argument, the examiner will give your opinion a failing score. There is no reason to give that paragraph a passing score since it does not support your given opinion. What you should have done was give the concerns in the paragraph, but then provided a discussion that would show that the concerns are unwarranted. You cannot be given full point credits in this case because of the confusing opinion presentation in the reasoning paragraphs.


Home / Writing Feedback / There are more challenges and risks than benefits to new technology.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳