First, what is the topic of this essay. It is important for us to know the topic or the prompt so that we know what it expects from you and also we can check whether your writing is aligned with those requirements. Make sure include that with your essay . Even now, it is good if you can post it here for others to know to earn more meaningful feedbacks.
We all agree thatcharity has vital role nowadays
... generally is role is played. Also, charity plays a vital role in what? You need to specify!
We all agree that charity plays a vital role in poverty alleviation in today's society. ... may be you have a different reason to say, but whatever it is, you need to specify that!