Task 1 - The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia had a baby

Hi! Thank you for spending time taking care of my essay. I have to take a test in the end of September, this test may decide my future university. It is very important to me, If you can, please give me errors and explanations, so that I can improve my writting skill. Sorry for not upload an image for this essay, but I can make sure that I reported correct data from the given diagram.
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The given bar chart illustrates the data about the age of women in Australia when they had a baby for the first time in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
Overall, the number of first-time pregnancies after age 30 is rising, while first births before age 24 are declining. First-time births between ages 25 and 29 have been fluctuating.
In 1996, over a third of individuals under 20 had a baby, while in the most recent year this dropped to just over 10%. Initially, the most common age group for pregnancy was 20 to 24, constituting over three-fifths of pregnancies. Over 100 years, this number significantly decreased to 30% by the final year. In 1966, fewer than 40% of individuals aged 25 to 29 had their first child. This number increased to 50% in 1986 and dropped to around 40% in 2006.
The percentage of women aged 30 to 34 giving birth for the first time increased slowly from 12% to 19% in the first 20 years. It then sharply jumped to about 50% in 2006, making it the most common age group for first-time mothers. The percentage of first-time mothers aged 35 to 39 increased from less than 10% to 30%. For those 40 and older, having a first baby remained the least common, with only 5% in 2006.

Avoid using a run-on sentence for your summary overview. Concise references rely on your ability to present one idea per sentence. Then use connecting words and phrases to create the complete paragraph. You will receive a negative GRA score when you use long sentences, which make it difficult to follow your meaning or information in the paragraph.

Remember that you are writing based upon a successive time frame. That means, you report the information in chronological order. So start with 1966, working your way to 2006. Also, you cannot use present tense gerunds and references since the date the information ends is in 2006. So you have to use past tense references.

This is not a bad first try at writing. You were just confused by a few writing dictates so once you correct that, your writing should also improve.