The line graph illustrates the number of women and man that smoke cigarettes in Australia.
Overview,it can be seen the ligit of men who smoke cigarettes in Australia gradually dropped and it decreased strongly in 1980. The number of women smoking in this country which increased steadly in 1975s and it fall slighty in 2000s.
The number of men smoking which went down rapidly about 2 million people between 1960 and 1980. It kept stable during 1980 to 1985 after that it dropped slightly about over 1 million people. And the men smoking rose slowly again. There was a quick decrease in 1995 which about under 3 million people.
In constant,the number of women smoking in Australia increased significantly from 1 million to 4 million people between 1960 and 1975. But it decreased slowly again and kept stable during 1975 to 1985. The legit of women smoking still fall slightly about 1 million people from 1990 to 2000. It can be seen in 1975 the number of women that smoke cigarettes in Australia was higher than the remaining years
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The summary overview is in the improper format. You cannot write a summary using all caps and bold letters. That is academically unacceptable and will cause deductions in the formatting response score. The sentences are not properly developed in terms of word usage, spelling, and basic sentence formatting. You are showing a severe lack of English writing knowledge which immediately causes your first paragraph to incur several failing scores.
Hanging sentences can be found in the paragraphs along with a lack of comma and other punctuation requirements. There is no way this essay will receive a GRA passing score at this point. Why do you keep on saying "the legit"? Do you even know what legit means? I doubt it since you are repeatedly using it in the wrong context in this essay. There are even more problems with the presentation but these are enough for me to tell you that your lack of English writing skills and vocabulary will prevent you from passing the test.
I think you should mention to the period of time in the first paragraph. In paragraph 3, you shouldn't use 'and' in the beginning of the sentence. You can use 'after that' or complex sentences to express the details. Similarly, you should utilize 'however' to replace the word 'but' in paragraph 2. If you want to improve your writing skill, you need to practice and read example essays. You are able to learn many things.