The chart reveals the data about global sales of IT products (2000 - 2003)

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the chart.

A glance at the provided chart reveals the data about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Generally, the sales of games software and DVD went up through years. Meanwhile, that of CDs had tendency to decrease.

We can see that, the sales of games software from 2000 to 2003 increased slightly. In detail, they rose about 2 billion each year and reached approximately 19 billion in 2003.

When it comes to DVD, the number of people buying DVD/videos also climbed, but more sharply. In 2000, the sales of DVD/videos only accounted for under 20 billion. But then, within 3 years that number rocketed and reached over 30 billion in 2003, indicating a growth of 2 billion, compared to first year.

By contrast, the number of CDs was sold started to go down minimally. During the same time period, the sales declined around 1 to 2 billion each year, from 35 billion in 2000 to about 32 million in 2003.

Thanks for reading, please give me some comments to correct my mistakes and rec for me some synonym to prevent repeating words.

• 
  The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video.
  

Hello there! Your writing is great!
And this is my feedback:
- In my opinion : instead of using the phrase" We can see that" , you can say " As can be seen from the graph"
-Some useful synonyms of the word " accounted for " :"took up " , " made up", " occupied "
-At the beginning you can say "The graph demonstrates /illustrates/ shows/gives the information about"
-During the same time period = during the time frame= during the studied period= during the period of time
- approximately = around= about= roughly= close to
Thank you for reading my feedback , hope this will help you !
And best wish for you !

@MiAnnn
thank u very much

@mphuonggg
Hi there!

First and foremost, I suggest focusing more on optimizing the space you have in your essay. Considering that you were able to create analysis and focus more on building content, you should now direct your attention into clearing out the unnecessary portions of your text to create more substantive and meaningful observations.

Aside from this, the structure and the usage of appropriate words/terms are both also necessary for you to curate more academically-appropriate texts. Formality is critical when writing these types of essays - remember this always.

Take a look at this revision, for instance:

A glance at the provided chart reveals the data about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Generally, the sales of games software and DVD went up through years.; M meanwhile, that of CDs had tendency to decrease. CDs had experienced a decrease.

Also be cautious of the formatting and the arrangement of your sentences. Take a look at this revision on your third paragraph:

When it comes to DVD, t The number ... DVD/videos also sharply climbed , but more sharply. ... under 20 billion. But then, - within 3 years, that number rocketed and reached over 30 billion in 2003, indicating a growth of 2 billion, compared to first year.

Observe how I had removed repetitive or synonymous words that you've intertwined together (ie. "rocketed" and "reached") and retained only one of them (whichever is more academically appropriate). Trying to implement this will help you establish a firmer writing style.

Best of luck as always!

@Maria
thank u very much