The chart below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years.

the percentage of films made in 5 countries

Hi everyone, I am in the process of preparing for the IELTS test and I need some advice for my writing task 1. Thank you very much!

The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of films made by 5 different countries, namely A, B, C, D and E for years since 2007. It is measured by percent.

Overall, in the entire surveyed period, the rates of B, D and E showed an upward trend. Meanwhile, a reverse pattern can be seen towards A and C.

In 2007, the rate of film production in A took a lead, at 80%, which was 4 times higher than that of its counterpart - C. In the next 2 years, A's film production lost momentum and plunged to roughly 76%. Although the percentage of film produced by C climbed to 23% in 2008, it fell to 19% at the end of the period. (It is noted that A invested the most in the film-making industry among all the factor surveyed).

In stark contrast, in 2007, the ratio of films made by E was 5%, which was the lowest point on the whole graph, compared to those of D (14%) and B (34%). 2 years later, the former and the latter increased gradually to about 8% and 16% respectively, while B gathered the pace and rebounded to 50% in 2008.

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Your essay is quite good. However, you have a tendency to not complete the minimum 3 sentence requirement per paragraph. Kindly remember that you are scored on your ability to write a series of complex and simple sentence per paragraph. The sentences are viewed in relation to your ability to clearly explain the information presented. You will score better if you meet the minimum sentence requirement per paragraph. Additionally, please do not include important information within a parenthesis. A parenthesis is only used when indicating additional but unimportant details within the essay. In the Task 1 essay, all of the information is important so using the side note method of informing the reader is out of place.

@Holt
Wow !! I did not expect that I would receive such a quick review. Thank you so much for making such a helpful comment.
In my essay, I put the sentence in parentheses because I thought it was just an addition, not the main one, I also saw the examiner Simon use this way in his essay too. Moreover, I myself do not know why each paragraph needs to meet all 3 sentences while I have met the criteria for enough words and analyzed all the outstanding features of the chart. Looking forward to your feedback, I am always positive to correct my mistakes.