Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS - Children should be brought up under strict rules of behavior or not?

fly2shashi 1 / 1  
Jan 12, 2014   #1
Topic: In some cultures, children are expected to follow very strict rules of behaviour. In other cultures, children are allowed to do almost anything they want. What are the merits of each opinion?

What is your position on the matter? Include relevant examples in your response.

Every country has its own culture which defines how the children are brought-up. In some countries, for example, belonging to Asian continent, societies impose very strict rules in upbringing their children. While in other countries, for example, Western, children grow freely without having to follow any rules of behaviour. It can not be denied that, both these ways of shaping a child's future have their own advantages. This essay discusses both the views before reaching a conclusion.

On one hand, in many of the Asian countries, such as India, China and Japan, a child has to follow certain rules, rules of strict behaviour. These children are taught how to respect others, how to spend their time, doing what activities. It can not be denied that children have an enormous grasping power at a tender age and they continue to follow these rules when they grow older, to be accepted by a society. This approach, however, limits a child's ability to think out of the box and tend to do what they are told.

On the other hand, culture in Western countries, such as the United States of America, allows their children to be free from any kind of rules as how to behave, what activities they can perform. Adolescents from these countries being free to think, use their own ideas to shape their future. Without having to agree to what their parents wants them to be, they tend to be in a better position to utilize their innovation and creativeness to excel in their chosen profession. Absolute freedom, however, sometimes can be very dangerous, for example, if a child falls prey for drug abuse.

While both the ways of upbringing a child has its own advantages, looking at the above discussion, it can be concluded that a moderation in how the child can be brought-up can be beneficial. Letting the child to be free and at the same time parents guiding them about what is good or bad for them would probably shape a child's future to be a better one.

Thanks in advance
My next GT IELTS exam: 18-Jan-2014
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 12, 2014   #2
Well, you say you couldn't exceed the band score of 6.5 and wonder why. Yes, you seem to be having good writing skills and you deserve a better score. My advice is to pay attention to the essay structure that can help you earn marks. The structure should include all the features that are necessary for scoring as well as help you manage time efficiently.
OP fly2shashi 1 / 1  
Jan 12, 2014   #3
Thank you very much Dumi for your suggestion, I will concentrate on the structure of my essays now.

Nova08 1 / 4  
Jan 13, 2014   #4
Does this structure apply to every essay?
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 13, 2014   #5
Mostly it does. There may be small adjustments you need to make depending on the essay type (I mean title type - Agree/Disagree , Discuss both views, What are the reasons? etc.) But basically this structure can be considered as one fit for all needs.

While in other countries, for example, Western, children grow freely without having to follow any rules of behavior.

You should not have examples in the introduction. It is meant for you to introduce your topic to the reader and get him on the track to follow your writing :D

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - Children should be brought up under strict rules of behavior or not?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳