Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS TASK 1 Essay: Chorleywood Village development



septem1821 3 / 24  
Feb 23, 2014   #1
The given diagram depicts the various infrastructural developments and the improvement of area around Chorleywood Park and Golf Course during 1868- 1994 in chorleywood Village.

Firstly,in 1868-1883, a place of a nearly pear shaped white portion was under development which is towards the West end of Cherlywood Park and Golf Course. In the following 1883-1922 period, Chorleywood Station was constructed which was in horizontal lines area at the west end of Park and it extended towards south region. In a similar way, the place around Chorleywood Station which is in black shade was improved during 1922-1970. On the other hand, massive developments occurred in the north and east side of Park between 1970 and 1994 which appears in vertical lines.

Secondly, the various modes of transportation made the Chorleywood Park into a square shape. The Main Roads became the north and west boundaries while Motorway which was established in 1970 ,goes along the eastern side. Finally, Rail track was constructed in 1909 and it extends throughout the southern boundary of Chorleywood Park.

In conclusion, I believe that Chorleywood Park and Golf Course are reachable by all modes of transportations and all sides of the park were being improved with facilities except the North-West region.

Please correct my essay.
Thanks very much.


  • 224110_1_o.jpg


eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 23, 2014   #2
It is nicer if you could write an overview for this visual writing.

Rail track was constructed in 1909 and it extends throughout the southern boundary of Chorleywood Park.

I am not sure enough that this word could cover what you mean

The Main Roads became the north and west boundaries while Motorway which was established in 1970 ,goes along the eastern side.

I am bit confused for this part. Can you please re-write?
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Mar 6, 2014   #3
It is nicer if you could write an overview for this visual writing.

Yes, I too agree. Overview is more important than a conclusion which is actually not necessary for this task, The reason is that conclusion is really a final judgement, decision or opinion which is more appropriate for the IELTS Task 2. However, the Task 1 asks you to write a description without analysis or opinions and there is no necessity for a conclusion. I personally feel it is good to tell the reader the main features of the graph or chart at the beginning of your essay by providing an overview.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 Essay: Chorleywood Village development
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳