Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Claim & Reason: Surest indicator of great nation is wellfare of people



Sdas 2 / 1  
Jul 25, 2013   #1
Question:
Claim: The surest indicator of great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.
Reason: The surest indicator of a great nation is actually the welfare of all its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.


The claim and the reason clearly states that the indication of a great nation depends on the welfare of its people, ignoring the contribution of the rulers, poets, scientists. On the contrary, a great nation is symbolized by the Wellness of the people as a whole, the people and the rulers, poets, scientists and so on. The wellness of the people is judged by the mental, political, social environment provided by the rulers. I contend that the achievements of the rulers, poets, scientists are meant for the welfare of the people.

At first, a great nation is characterized by the level of welfare that it provides to its common people. A general welfare deals with the basic amenities such as education, health care, housing, sanitation, jobs, communication, transport, etc. After fulfilling these basic amenities it can look forward to contribute to its people. In the past the great Tang dynasty in china at that time maintained a civil social system by recruiting officials through standardized exams .At present, United States is a great nation for its low unemployment rate, high living of standard, which is known all through the world. On the other hand if the ruler is not capable then not only the people will be deprived from common welfare but also from their general rights. For example, the people of Afghanisthan, who faced three decades of war. They don't have the minimum welfare for their development. They even loose opportunity to study, which in turn effects the development of the nation. So, it can be seen from above that welfare of the common people is prerequisite for a great nation.

However, we should not ignore the contribution of the rulers, poets, scientists to the nation's greatness. A great nation is the result of its great people. India is a developing country with lower welfare than developed countries, but this does reduce its greatness in its peoples' mind. India has the one of the best educated people in the world and individuals have contributed in various fields. Gandhi is one of the greatest man who advocated non-violence and many other movements which helped India to gain her independence. Tagore had won the Nobel Prize in the field of literature and so had Satyajit won the lifetime achievement Oscar Award for his excellence in cinema. From the above statements, we can conclude that India as a great nation in terms of the achievements of the pioneering people. So, it can be stated that a nation's greatness is influenced by these pioneering people.

Although, the greatness of a nation depends on the welfare of its people but this can be further done with the help of the scientists. They have given the world great developments, which in turn helped in the welfare of the people. For example, the Scottish inventor and mechanical engineer, James Watt, inventor of Steam Engine brought fundamental changes to the Industrial Revolution through the world. His enormous contribution increased the general welfare of the people. The discovery of Penicillin by the Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming,that was effective against many previously serious diseases. This was the first level of antibiotics ever created, revolutionized the world of medicine. Therefore, the achievements of scientists and the general welfare indicate a great nation.

Finally, the welfare of people is indeed indicator of a great nation, but we should consider the achievements of the rulers, poets, scientists. In fact a nation can realize its real greatness by connecting the achievements of the pioneers with the welfare of the people.

----------------------------

Please review my essay.

niesaysi 16 / 281  
Jul 27, 2013   #2
In your intro, weighing the statements ,which must emphasize most, is the thing that needs to be considered. As instance, you better place first this, "I contend that the achievements of the rulers, poets, scientists are meant for the welfare of the people" on the second sentence. Then, support it with relevant details. We call this as placement by emphasis.

The claim and the reason clearly state that the indication of a great nation depends on the welfare of its people, disregarding the contribution of the rulers, poets, scientists. On the contrary, I contend that the achievements of the rulers, poets, scientists are meant for the welfare of the people. A great nation is symbolized by the wellness of the common people , the people and the rulers, poets, scientists and so on. The wellness of the people is judged by the mental, political, social environment provided by the rulers.

t first, a great nation is characterized by the level of welfare that it provides..

Tang dynasty in China at that time maintained a civil-social...

On the other hand, if the ruler..

..deprived fromtheir common welfare but also from their general rights...

Be aware of the transition of time.

For example, the people of Afghanisthan, who faced three decades of war( past time is manifested through it). They did not have the minimum welfare for their development. They even lost the opportunity to study, which in turn affected the development of the nation. Therefore, it can be seen fromabove that welfare of the common people is prerequisite to a great nation.

...
dumi 1 / 6793  
Aug 11, 2013   #3
The claim and the reason clearly states

... two things and therefore;
The claim and the reason clearlystate

On the contrary, a great nation is symbolized by the Wellness of the people as a whole, the people and the rulers, poets, scientists and so on.

...What do you mean? I don't get your idea :(

n your intro, weighing the statements ,which must emphasize most, is the thing that needs to be considered. As instance, you better place first this, "I contend that the achievements of the rulers, poets, scientists are meant for the welfare of the people" on the second sentence. Then, support it with relevant details. We call this as placement by emphasis.

.... good advice by niesaysi and you need pay attention to what he suggests.

However, we should not ignore the contribution of the rulers, poets, scientists to the nation's greatness.

However, we cannot ignore the fact that contribution of the rulers, poets,scientists has mattered to the greatness of their nation.


Home / Writing Feedback / Claim & Reason: Surest indicator of great nation is wellfare of people
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳