Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


TOEFL; Company announces its wish to build to a large factory near your area



labroy 2 / 4  
Oct 4, 2010   #1
Hi,
I'm new to the forum. Please help me with my toefl essay;

QUESTION; A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

The presence of a new factory could bring about both advantageous and disadvantageous impacts on our community. It certainly would be a positive influence on the unemployed youth. However, the new factory may impose several environmental threats to our community which is proud of its environment that has a unique beauty and high tranquility.

To begin with, the new factory would require a significant labor force. The unemployed ...

ecmagalhaes 4 / 10  
Oct 4, 2010   #2
Hi, de zilva.
well done! its a good essay! thats your first essay? you have a quite good vocabulary and a grammar.

The presence of a new factory could bring about both advantageous and disadvantageous impacts on our community. It certainly would be a positive influence on the unemployed youth. However, the new factory may impose several environmental threats to our community which is proud of its environment that has a unique beauty and high tranquility.

To begin with, the new factory would require a significant labor force, and so the unemployed youth can exploit these opportunities which increase the rate of employment within the community. Since the current unemployment rate is much higher due to the severe recessionary effects, this would help solve a major problem of myour community. AndIn addition, the new factory would require infrastructural developments in the area and may invest on such developments. This would help save the funds of the community on infrastructure development that could be used for other useful projects.

More over, the current environment is appreciated not only by the people in our community but by many visitors for its unique scenique beauty and high tranquility which is far from being polluted. The new factory would certainly impose many threats to its current environment; and it would pollute the environment with noises, air pollution and traffic congestions. These are very serious concerns with regard to the slow lives of our community. Our people are very keen on having relaxed and quiet life styles. Hence their perceptions about the environment would be greatly challenged by the presence of this new factory. It is very likely that there would be a strong opposition by the majority of our community, especially by the matured people. Therefore, this issue may lead to a division among the people of our community which would be a very unhealthy scenario.

Finally, in my opinion, when a trade off between advantages and disadvantages is concerned, it is better to retain the tranquility of our community which has more significance to the lives of people living in it. The youth should be able to find employment opportunities outside the community once the economy would recover. The recessionary effects have already started disappearing and we can have a better hope for the youth. On the other hand, the factory may cause irrevocable damages to the environment of our community. After all the community should not be divided on this issue and should maintain the peace and harmony that they always had.

When both advantages and disadvantages are concerned, it is apparent that the new factory would bring more negative impacts on our community than positive results.

---

Great job, de zilva!

- Eduardo


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Company announces its wish to build to a large factory near your area
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳