Can computer replace teacher?; IELTS Writing Part 2

Below is my essay for the topic of . Please help me check.
As computer is playing an important role in our daily life, some people may think that is can replace teacher. But my view is that computer can not be instead of teacher.

With the development of technology, now computer is becoming stronger, so students can get plent of information as they want. For example, when they want to learn something about the United Kingdom, they can use the internet to view the documentations for the history, art, archetecture and other aspects of the country. They also can use the "Google Earch" (one software run in computer) to view the 3D map. Depending on this, some people may think that computer can replace teacher.

But I think that these people are miss-guided. Although computer can provide numerious knowledge, it can not deal with the actions which are taken by students. Such as, when students feel boring about the lesson, they may go to the game websites or unhealth ones. By constract, teacher may change the method of teaching to revive their interest. He or she may ask students to answer questions or make discussion about the topic, or let them go outside to get experience of the theme.

So overall, I think that computer may be a useful tool for teacher, which can make the lesson more active. But it can not replace teacher.

This needs further development in terms of Body. Needs better coherence between general and specific arguments

Advice is an uncountable noun. Advices or an advice are not correct forms.

You want me to write essay with the same topic? or different?
Which one you think may improve my writing ability?

But in my opinion, I need to pratice writing essays with different topic for the IELTS test. So I will remember your advice for this one and start to write for another topic.

New Topic: Museum should be an educational or entertaining place?

In our society, there are many kinds of museums. Some people may think that they are educational places. But in my point of view, the museum is an both educational and entertaining place.

There are many examples for this, such as historical museum. History, a normal subject in school, teach statudent about the life of ancient people. While in class, student only can read the book or listen to teacher, in museum they can see the real products, wear the clothes of ancient people and play as them. The target of these activities is education but the process of these is entertain.

Another example, science museum, it provides a lot of special machines. Students can do plenty of experiments in it. For some big equipments, they need to work together and discussion. After doing this, students may find the result which is already taught in class. At that time, they just knew this, but now they understand this. They would remember this for a long period of time. On the other hand, if they find the result is different from text book, they may have more interested in doing the experiments again and again to find out the reason. At the beginning, the activity is for entertain, but at last, it become educational.

So, my conclusion is that museum should be an place for educational and entertain. It should combine the two sides into a whole.