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'computers have found the diverse use in many fields' - IELTS essay


Mohit1 2 / 2  
Jan 23, 2012   #1
Topic: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

Invention of computers has changed the way mankind interacts with themselves and with the environment. Moreover, they have found widespread use in almost all fields of human interventions. The bulky calculation by using paper and pencil has become the thing of the past, our muscles have been replaced by the use of automation and the human brain has been augmented by the use of computers. However, there are some disadvantages of using computers also. This essay will focus on both sides of the coin and will suggest the new approach in the field of computer applications.

Ever since their inventions, computers have found the diverse use in almost all fields, namely, businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even in space technology. As they become more sophisticated, they have even found the use in critical areas such as underwater research and even in nuclear technology.

The reasons of using computers in so many diverse fields are the advantages they offer. High productivity, accuracy and reliability are some of the advantages of computers. Because of

these advantages, computers have become indispensable in today's world. It can be anticipated that they will found the widespread use in the field of cosmology and micro-medicine in future.

Computers might be one of the greatest inventions of mankind but ironically there is also a gloomy side of using computers in some fields. For instance, internet has become very useful tool to exchange the information but at the same time, people are becoming lazier, face-to-face contact is increasingly being reduced. This has, in turn, limited the way people socialize with themselves.

To conclude it can be said that computers are, without any doubt, great gadgets to be around but their application areas should be carefully studied so that they will become a good friend of mankind in future and thereby making this world even a better place to live.

roshan4 6 / 12  
Jan 23, 2012   #2
Hi Mohit,

I really appreciate your work. I recommend you to use other word instead of thing. Secondly, I believe you need to connect your ideas and paragraph more carefully.

Remember to cover these areas

Task achievement
Grammar
Co-cohesion and co-herence
Lexical resources

band scores will be given on above four areas. Please understand above definitions and answers all parts.

Great work. Good luck.
vonquixotic 1 / 2  
Jan 23, 2012   #3
Hey,

In my opinion, I think that you have got the points however you might want to elaborate on them and include some analysis to make your arguments stronger.

Good effort nevertheless.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 24, 2012   #4
Invention of computers has changed the way mankind interactsused to interact with themselves and with the environment. Moreover, they have found widespread use in almost all fields of human interventionsevery field such as education, health, transportation, construction etc.ThebulkyT edious calculationsbydone using paper and pencil has become the thingan exersise of the past,


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