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(IELTS essay) Corporal punishment to discipline children?



joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 17, 2012   #1
Some people believe that corporal punishment will spoil the children. While others believe that, it is the best method of teaching discipline to children. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many parents use physical punishment to discipline their children. Others prefer to use different methods to reward good behavior or punish misbehavior. It became a controversial issue nowadays. However, I am partially agreeing the physical punishment. In this essay, I will explore the both sides of this argument.

Admittedly, there are many reasons to allow corporal punishment. First point is that, for childrens' better future, it is vital to teach them discipline form their childhood onward by using appropriate methods including physical punishment. Some parents feel it is difficult to manage small children without physical punishment. The second point is that, it is quick and effective. For instance, it can be useful to smack a two years old child quickly, who is creaming unnecessarily. Thirdly, as it is more memorable, it deters them from repeating the same mistake in the future. Significantly, it will help them to learn the right from the wrong in a better way if use properly.

Nevertheless, if parents are allowed to hit their children for the sake of teaching discipline, some parents may lose control and can injure children. They may find it as an easy way to release their stress. It will lead to more physical and emotional damage on children. It further spoil the good relationship between the child and parents. Particularly, when it not proportional to their age and seriousness of the crime. For instance, beating 16 yrs old who came late from school once is not good as smacking a screaming 2years old child.

Additionally, physical punishment is banned in some countries and schools because of some solid reasons. Chief among this is that, this will protect the child from abuse. Another point is that, it teaches the children that they can use force to make others to do what we want, especially when didn't understand their mistake. Besides, small words of appreciations and motivations are not only, beneficial for children to understand their mistakes and think about it, but also, to develop and follow good habits.

In conclusion, physical punishment causes adverse impacts on childrens' life. In my perception, it can be a useful method of discipline in small children, if used carefully, as a last resort.

eva19950927 2 / 2  
Dec 18, 2012   #2
A well-written essay. Guess you can get at least band 7, just try and reduce the number of writing "... is that,..."
dumi 1 / 6795  
Dec 18, 2012   #3
Many parents use physical punishment to discipline their children. Others prefer to use different methods to reward good behavior or punish misbehavior.

In the first sentence you talk about physical punishment as means of disciplining children. In the second line however, your idea does not come out that well : ( .... it does not give the idea clearly that others try different methods in replacement of physical punishments such as rewarding good behaviors in order to make their children disciplined. You better re-phrase the second line. :)

In this essay, I will explore the both sides of this argument.

This is not adding any value to your essay because your exminer expects you to do this. Instead tell your opinion straight; agree/ disagree or moderate stance :)
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 18, 2012   #4
It became a controversial issue nowadays.

It has become a controversial issue nowadays.

The second point is that,

"secondly" would sound nicer.

Additionally, physical punishment is banned in some countries and schools because of some solid reasons.

I don't think you need to say "additionally" here.

Your essay is a good but I think you need to present it in a better manner. Otherwise the reader would lose interest.


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