GRE - 'Correlation between monitoring and productivity of the employees'

"In the six months that I have been watching the employees, their productivity has increased by over 12 percent. Therefore, my recommendation is that the employees either be watched by, or think that they are watched by, an outside evaluator at all times from this point on."

Discuss the merits of the preceding argument. Analyze the evidence used as well as the general reasoning. Present points that would strengthen the argument or make it more compelling.

In the given argument, the author mentions that he/she has monitored the employees, and the productivity of the employees has increased over a period of time. And the author argues that the employees should be moitored, or at least make the employees think they are monitored in order to increase or maintain productivity.

The authors arguement, and his assumption(s) may be right. From the given arguement, it can be surmised that the author assumes the productivity of the employees has increased simply beacuse they were being monitored, and hence may under some duress work harder. This can be true in certain conditions. For example, the company or organisation may be laying off employees for some reason, like a declining economy, or the replacement of workers with machinery or some other (possibly cheaper) alternative. If such were the case, then it is possible that most workers may be more assiduous in their assigned tasks, from hopes that they will be noticed by the administration and not be laid off instead of someone else. And the authors argument would definitely be strenghthened.

However, since no details are mentioned about the organisation or the firm, any factor can eventuate increased productivity. One factor can be better or improved technology, which in turn may allow workers to complete more work per time and hence improve productivity. Another factor may be that the organsiation has announced increased remuneration or benefits for industrious people. This in turn may have motivated the workers, leading to increased productivity. If these factors are true, it would undermine the author's reasoning and arguement.

Hence, it is understood that the author may be right. But without any details, in cannot be fully judged as to whether the authors arguement is vaild or not

ps jkjeremy I've revised some of my previous analysis, hope this essay is a step forward
dumi, I'm not sure whether you've read my "Analyze an Argument" responses before, but I hope this lives up to your standards.

Hi shadmann,
First, I'd like to request you to have a meaningful topic in the Subject field when you make a new post. It helps you to earn more feed backs because it attracts other's attention.


.... actually, the author's statement implies that monitoring has been the root cause for productivity enhancement. You better do not mention that in this line;

In the given argument, the author mentions that he/she has monitored the work of employees during the last six months and he further recommends that the employees need to be monitored to enhance their productivity levels. In other words, the author assumes that increase in productivity of these employees directly correlates with this activity of monitoring.

Thanks, I'll aim for more meaningful topics the next time I post stuff (It's difficult for me since I lack creativity). Anyways, thanks for your comment on the statement. Would you care to share anymore incisive thoughts or comments about the response?

You're getting better at this. Be patient, though...significant writing improvement can take quite a long time.

As for this essay, let's look at the prompt:

---Discuss the merits of the preceding argument. In what ways is the argument effective or ineffective?

---Analyze the evidence used as well as the general reasoning. How does each point of evidence contribute to the persuasiveness of the argument?

---Present points that would strengthen the argument or make it more compelling. What does the author leave out?

Also, you don't need to rewrite the prompt in your introduction. I don't know who told you to spend that much time writing words you've just read, but that person (no matter how well-intended) was wrong.

No one told me to re-write the prompt, it just came about when I started typing.

Now, since you further clarified the instructions, I don't think I can add much more to this. Given that the prompt is just one premise and a conclusion, I think my argument somewhat manages (If not nailed) to fulfill the requirements.

Oh and another thing, can you spare some time to walk me through the "Analyze an issue" essay? You can contact me at: thrall_warchief_farseer@hotmail.com

Quickly adding me would be convenient, as I'd like to remove the address ASAP.

I will contact you in the next twelve hours.

John