Rigarding accomodation sectors, cost of housing in Riverdale has the highest percentage at 19% , while in Cape Alicia only at -12.5% .
Stacy, it would be nice if you write the topic sentence with no figures. Let's give a try:
Money spent in Housing of Riverdale breaks the highest proportion, while this percentage in Cape Alicia falls to minus pointsTips and Advice for IELTS Task 1 Writing: TR, focus more on 'overall trends' rather than details. In this answer, you have an overview but this would be better used with 2 sentences like I did. Make sure you emphasise the key points in the overview, which in this case would be that,
'Overall, what stands out from the graph shows that the approximate cost-of-living percentage of Riverdale is higher than that of Cape Alicia. In any case, Housing ranks the highest percentage of all, while this figure reveals a significant percentage decrease in the second area. ' CC is good but I would advise you to have four paragraphs - an introduction, two main body paragraphs and a clear overview. LR is also good but there are lots of repetitive linkers and words, such as while and has. GRA is just good enough. You have problem with spelling e.g. "Finaly", should be "Finally". Likewise, the way you compare and contrast the figures is already done. However, we, the readers, feel tired since you present repetitive sentence construction e.g. "
"While SV, SV/ SV While SV""
Thanks,
eddy suaib