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IELTS Writing task 2: "In many countries, the fast fashion industry has gained significant ..."



maidong 1 / -  
Feb 22, 2024   #1
In many countries, the fast fashion industry has gained significant popularity, but it also comes with a range of problems. Discuss the problems associated with fast fashion and propose solutions to address these issues.

In recent years, the fast fashion industry has become increasingly popular in many countries. However, this trend has also brought with it a problem that need to be addressed. This essay will discuss the problem associated with fast fashion and propose a solution to this issue.

One of the major problems with fast fashion is its impact on water resources due to its unsustainable practices. The dyeing and finishing of textiles uses a wide range of chemicals, including dyes, mordants, and auxiliaries which are toxic. When they are not properly treated and disposed of, these chemicals can run off into rivers and streams, contaminating the water supply. For example, formaldehyde, a poisonous dyeing chemical, when being discharged into bodies of water from textile mills without a process of removing contaminants, they can pollute rivers, lakes, and oceans.

To address these issues, one solution can be proposed. It is essential that clothing companies treat wastewater from textile mills before it is discharged into the environment using biological treatment. This method uses microorganisms to break down and remove pollutants from wastewater by using them as a food source. When bacteria come into contact with pollutants in wastewater, they consume them and produce new cells. This process is called biodegradation.Biodegradation can break down a wide variety of pollutants, including organic matter, nutrients, and toxic chemicals. For instance, when bacteria are exposed to pollutants in wastewater, they use oxygen to break down pollutants into simpler compounds, such as carbon dioxide, water, and nitrogen gas which are then released into the environment or used by the bacteria to build new cells.

In conclusion, while the fast fashion industry has gained significant popularity, it also comes with a problem that need to be addressed. By adopting more sustainable and ethical practice, companies can create a more sustainable and responsible fashion industry.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Feb 25, 2024   #2
You should not use the same phrase "fast fashion" in the presentation because that makes it appear that you just copied and pasted the original information. You could have said short wear clothes or disposable fashion to show that you have a wider vocabulary that would allow you refer to the same topic in an original way. The writer's opinion cannot be given a passing score as you merely repeated the writing instruction instead of delivering your thesis statement in the process. Without a properly developed thesis statement, you were not able to meet the writer's opinion presentation requirement.

Another problem in the essay is that you presented only 1 problem in the first paragraph. The second topic is not related to fashion so it deviated from the topic. So that will lower the score of the paragraph. The same problem exists in your solution presentation. Basically, the deviations and lack of thesis statement will be the reasons for the essay to fail.
sophiemoore62 4 / 10  
Mar 1, 2024   #3
@maidong
You should address at least 2 problems and propose a solution that relates to fast fashion. In this essay, it sounds like its more about water pollution than fast fashion.


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