In many countries there has been increase in social problems involving teens

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?

Nowadays, the youth's participation on community issue has enhanced day by day, some people's believe that massive changes in living standard is one of the main reason for the involvement of juveniles on social issues like alcoholism, enhancing criminal activities, lack of qualified workforce and etc . However, I strongly agree that if parents have less attention and less care towards their children, it will be increasing the chances of teen's involvement on such social issues.

This is the era of modernization, people are spending more time with their work and busy in maintaining their status on society. Among these, they don't have adequate time to monitor children. Consequently, there will be a high chances of bad accompany of friends since they have more freedom. This will insist them to involve on such criminal activities and enhancing the social violence by including in illegal drug, alcoholism, and smoking etc.

Children are the future of country, so parents should provide conducive environment to boost their self confidence and support them to get quality education. As teenager, they are vulnerable emotionally and not ready to take right decision about their life. In such situation, they will not give that much important to their studies and career. However, in near future, the society will face lack of efficient and educated workforce, as a result it will directly effect to the development of country.

In conclusion, parents are the first teacher of children and it's an obligation of guardian to show the correct way and help them to be a part of society. Modernization is demand of time. However; we should not negligence to the children needs, this will affect their growth and increase the social issues. Parent should always give first priority to their children for their bright future and to create civilize society.

For 3 paragraphs you are basically revolving about the same point. Repeat and repeat. You need to come up with more points to substantiate your answer. You also have run on problems with your sentences.

Another thing is that, the question ask "To what extent do you believe this is true? ", meaning you need to provide both sides of view. You need to tell why is this true and why is this not true, in what scenarios is it true or not true. It will be good for you to make your stand in the first paragraph and elaborate in subsequent paragraphs

You can start off by identifying what are the social problems caused by teens in the society, such as drugs, theft etc.
Look up for evidence, facts, go google how many hours are adults working per week and see if the results can validate your stand. Find out what might be other cause for the rise in social problems caused by teens. That way your essay will be more convincing.

Hope this help and do throw a thumbs up for me if it did

Thanks you so much friends for your great help. I will try to rewrite this essay.

so parents should provide their children with a sustainable environment to grow

capitalization,


don't use contraction in your essay

It is always good to mention the purpose of writing your essay in the title itself. I guess this is for IELTS or TOEFL. Isn't it so?


.... "community issue"?
Well, that sounds pretty vague :( The reader does not have any idea about what it does mean and you need to be more specific on that.

Actually, the introduction is aimed at introducing your topic to the reader and therefore it should be presented in a more simple and interesting manner. Introduction helps you impress the reader more than any other part of your essay.