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The criminal should do some community services rather than putting them inside the prison. IELTS 2



The Everest 4 / 3  
Mar 24, 2016   #1
IELTS TASK 2
Some people believe that crime rate can be reduced by giving a long punishment, while others say there are alternate ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has been said that some criminals should be detained not to be harmful to society by means of long time imprisonment . On the another side of this argument, they should be trained to do community services instead of imprisonment. Despite the presence of the positive and negative in each perspective, I strongly hold the opposite view; the criminal should do some community services rather than putting them inside the prison.

When we look at the first argument in favor of incarceration, the prison acts as a models for potential sinners not to commit the wrong doings. Some criminals should be detain inside such these detention centers for long time. As the result of this, they will not disturb the life of normal people. They should regret their wrong acts and lead a miserable life inside the jail for the punishment of their offense.

On the other hand, it is undoubtedly that the social norms and values have totally changed in today world. In this modern belief, not all offenders are good for nothing, they should trained to make good living in their later life. To cite on my example, they should learn somethings such as languages, vocational trainings and other activities of interests instate of enjoying public money. It is true to say that there can also work for them to reduce the expense in the prison. These labour force from the criminals will be a great contribution to the societies. By doing so, I am sure, it is the best way to raise their awareness and change their life style.

To recapitulate, these are the reasons for both pros and corns of long imprisonment. Nevertheless, government have the responsibility to protect innocent life of the people from the brutal criminals. My strong point, we have to find the best way for this argument by means of researching or comprehensive approaches together with community.

RAY93 35 / 166  
Mar 25, 2016   #2
Hi, The Everest. here my comments for you writing. moreover, you need to pay attention on your sentence so it can be easily understand by writer. thanks.

It has been said that some criminalsshould be detained not to be harmful to society by means of long time imprisonment . sentence hard to follow, better to write : should be detained in a long time imprisonment so that they can't threatened the society.

the prison acts as a modelssingular/plural issue
for potential sinnerssinner is more related to religious issue rather than crime, use crime agents
they will not disturb the life of normal others people.

In this modern belief, not all offenders are good for nothing,this sentence not make a sense, hard to understand
of interests instate instead of enjoying public money.

It is true to say that there can also work for them to reduce the expense in the prison.subject verb agreement issue,

To recapitulate, these are the reasons for [s]both pros and corn s of long imprisonment. you only describe a pro and a con.


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