Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Culture shock (two years in Delhi, India)


salonijain 1 / -  
Sep 10, 2015   #1
Culture shock is an overall, and I think cumulative, sense of strangeness and difference, experienced by people visiting a culture where things are being done very differently relative to their own background. The main thing is, they don't know how to fit in, to do things in a comfortable way, to have a feeling of belonging, to be able to relax and feel natural. The people experience culture shock when they move from one country to another or within their own country .

I have experienced culture shock when I moved from Kota , my hometown to Delhi to pursue my higher education. I was so excited to come to Delhi and start with my college life. Everything seemed perfect like a beautiful package , wrapped in shimmery paper with a beautiful bow. It would be perfect and wonderful once I got to Delhi. Well , it was a bit of a wake-up call when I encountered culture shock numerous times during my stay in Delhi. The major ones were talking and communicating with new people , greeted by a taxi-driver who will take the longest route to your destination , paying guest food and daily power cut , hike in prices ,etc. Essentially , it seemed impossible for me to fit in to the new world at the beginning but then , I thought to give the best shot to have a better understanding and to look forward instead of backward . I started building relationships with my college friends , who assisted me in my adjustment to Delhi by giving me a better understanding of the routes and by interacting and socializing with them made me feel les home-sick. The support from my family and my personal goals gave me the strength with the problems and with time I learnt to adapt to new experiences and took it as a challenge and faced it.

Now , it's been more than two years in Delhi I found myself to have learnt to accept all the shocks that I encountered and had incorporated them into my life . It was a tough challenge that I have overcome but now I love Delhi and can live in any other city .

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 10, 2015   #2
I would like to give you some feedback.

I think you should delete "the main thing is". You could replace these words with: "People who experience culture shock don't know how to fit in..." The last sentence could read:" This culture shock occurs when...

There is a slight error when you begin the second paragraph:"... Kota, my hometown in Delhi, to...." The next sentence delete "with". Your use of commas is good, but remember to avoid too much space before the comma. Ex: "beautiful, package" and "Well, it"

The sentence that begins with the major ones is a little confusing . Here is a suggestion: "I experienced this while communicating with new people, paying for food, seeing an increase in prices, etc." I think the meaning is more clear with less details.

The next sentence you could make slight corrections: "...fit into the new surroundings, but then I did by best to..." The last two words in the next sentence should be "less homesick". Here is another correction for the last sentence: "...gave me strength and with time I learned..."

The last paragraph place a comma after Delhi. I think you should discuss how you have learned to adapt to your environment. This would mean you have overcome your culture shock.


Home / Writing Feedback / Culture shock (two years in Delhi, India)