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curriculum vitae - my first essay



oranje 3 / 4  
Jun 21, 2008   #1
curriculum vitae

1 month ago I had to write a short essay about my education, my goals, about myself in order to pass an entry to test to start studying. Well, what shall I say, the result was really disillusioning. I had the chance to have my test bespoken with a teacher of this school and he told me that my result was under average, especially the essay and that's the most horrible thing in my opinion. But there is still light at the end of the tunnel because I've got a second chance due to a reexamination. I'm not in school anymore so I don't have an English teacher or something but at least I have the Internet and I'm willing to work my butt off to pass the test with the second attempt.

So I want to start with my first essay in this forum (kindly supported by leo.org):

I was born in 1984 in a small town in Switzerland. I've grown up passing through elementary school and upper stage. Then I started an apprenticeship in the IT sector. While I have been apprentice I started to recognize that I'm not really a technician. Ever since I can remember I've been interested in languages and I've always thought that I'm talented in them.

After my apprenticeship I worked with an IT company for 2 years when I finally took a decision: Start a new education and study English and French.

That's what I did but unfortunately I didn't achieve what I set out to do. I didn't pass the entry test. Nevertheless I'm still motivated to improve my language skills and pass the test the second time.

It's the first time I've really known what I want to do in the future. I love languages and I'm on the point of mastering them. First I focus on English and French and with a further step I would love to learn a, let's say, more "exotic" language, like for example Russian or Japanese.

Remark: I haven't been often in touch with English for the last three years but I think writing is the most promising to improve one's language skills.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Jun 21, 2008   #2
"I was born in 1984 in a small town in Switzerland. I've grown up passing through elementary school and upper stage.What does this mean? What is "passing through"? Then I started an apprenticeship in the IT sector. While I have been an apprentice I recognized that I'm not really a technician. Ever since I can remember I've been interested in languages and I've always thought that I'm talented in them. Refrain from using casual contractions in formal academic writing.

You've got a good start here!
OP oranje 3 / 4  
Jun 22, 2008   #3
Thank's a lot for your effort. I have to say i'm very glad to have found this forum.

- Passing through - I wanted to express that i've grown up and while growing up I ran through elementary school and upper stage. I tried to say that i completed these grades.
EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Jun 22, 2008   #4
Ah, I see. How about rewriting that statement to something like "I've grown up, passing through both elementary and secondary school" or "I have been through both elementary and secondary school", or something like that, to clarify for your reader.
OP oranje 3 / 4  
Jun 22, 2008   #5
Thanks I like this suggestion:

I've grown up, passing through both elementary and secondary school"


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