Data on the bird population essay

The graph below shows the birds' population in Europe from 1977 to 2001.

(This is a topic and the line graph is below )

The graph give data on the bird population has changed in Europe , during the span of 24 years period from 1997 to 2001. Overall, the number of birds decreased by 30 millions of the amount , in the early of the time span it was increased a bit but after that they were inclined to fell out dramatically in the latter one.

In 1997, the number of birds grew up approximately to 130 millions.Meanwhile , after that period they were tend to diminished by 99 percent of the total decreased amount in a dangerous way from 1980 to 1986. Thereafter , they accelerated to 7 millions quantity next 3 years . From the beginning of 1989 , they're continue dropped out and the number is lower than a previous period . In 1992 , the number of birds slightly increased by 2 millions . In the final 6 years , this number fell off from 96 millions to 90 millions.

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  birdspopulationin.png
  

A task 1 essay always has a 3 paragraph requirement. 4 paragraphs are presented when reporting using 2 images. So, while the presentation met the word requirement, the format is still incorrect. Points will still be deducted based on formatting reasons. Always present:

- Summary overview + trending statement (combined in a single paragraph)
- First grouped topic report
- second grouped topic report

The format above is a standard presentation format that you can use even in a 2 image report. You cannot go wrong when you use this format so memorize it.

The English sentence structures are elementary and with obvious ESL word usage problems. I am confident though that the student will show grammar improvements over time, provided he dedicates himself to improving his language skills. I say this because the writer got his message across even while using elementary English words for his sentences.

You repeated the same structure "In...(year), the number of...."
You can replace "the number of" with "the figure for", use active sentences or "the year ...saw an increase in...", "there was an increase in..." so your score in grammar might be higher