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These days, fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in high schools.


uzboy 9 / 29  
Apr 22, 2014   #1
IELTS TASK TWO
These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

By 21st century, in many countries, being a teacher in a school was held in high esteem in the job market. However, nowadays, the profession of a teaching, especially in high schools, has significantly lost its popularity as a result of the advantages of better occupations created by modern technology advances and fewer people want to get this job. This essay will indicate the reasons and propose some solutions.

The first factor to consider in terms of the shortage of teachers is a significant difference in the salaries paid to teachers and other qualified workers, which are notably higher. For instance, in some countries teachers earn twice less than lawyers or doctors. Consequently, the prospect of low income discourages students from pursuing a career in teaching. One possible solution would be for the government to increase teachers' wages. This could lead to a dramatic rise in the number of graduates willing to devote their lives to teaching.

Another essential problem is the bad behaviour of present-day students. These days, children do not have the same respect for teachers as they did in past decades, when corporal punishment was commonplace. According to recent survey, current pupils tend to disobey teachers or even behave rudely toward them. As a result, potential teachers are greatly discouraged from choosing this profession as their future job. Dealing with issue involves parents teaching their offspring that they need to have respect for adults and should not behave in inappropriate ways.

Last but not least, teaching is a very demanding job, which requires a lot of stamina and patience in order to deal with all the difficulties. Extensive paperwork and marking can make teachers be snowed under with a number of challenges. To tackle this problem, educational staff should be provided with assistants who will reduce their workload. This would result in a decrease in the amount of hours teachers spend at school, and will lead to a better work-life balance.

In summary, graduates are often faced with the dilemma of whether to become teachers or to choose a more lucrative profession. Currently, they tend to opt for more profitable and less demanding jobs. To resolve this problem, the government and educational authorities need to gradually improve teachers' working conditions and increase their salaries. Otherwise, we risk a serious lack of teachers in the future.
ningo 22 / 53 9  
Apr 22, 2014   #2
However, nowadays, the profession of a teaching, especially in high schools, has significantly lost its popularity as a result of the advantages of better occupations created by modern technology advances and fewer people want to get this job

It seems confusing! It is better for you to cut this compound sentence into 2 sentences to draw attention.
Loss , not lost
In an essay, thesis statement affects greatly your score, therefore, you need to put more attention to your thesis statement in this essay. Don't give a general idea!
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Apr 22, 2014   #3
Hi, uzboy.
This is an interesting essay for me and i get a new pattern. As far as I know many essay noted the problems of the prompt in the first body, then they offer some solutions in the following body paragraph. In this essay i see you note a problem and give solution directly in the same paragraph, very suitable for reader to know directly the the solution for the problem. cheers :D
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 23, 2014   #4
By 21st century, in many countries, being a teacher in a school was held in high esteem in the job market.

This sentence is not a strong hook. It is actually not presented in a catchy way :(
In the past, the teaching had been one of the most esteemed professions.

However, nowadays, the profession of a teaching, especially in high schools, has significantly lost its popularity as a result of the advantages of better occupations created by modern technology advances and fewer people want to get this job.

This too does not effectively introduce the issue of this topic. You need to paraphrase your prompt for this. This is what I suggest;
However, nowadays in many countries, the teaching is becoming a less popular profession due to some reasons.
OP uzboy 9 / 29  
Apr 23, 2014   #5
Hi dumi! Thank you very much for corrections,

This sentence is not a strong hook. It is actually not presented in a catchy way :(In the past, the teaching had been one of the most esteemed professions.

It means that I need to work more on catchy hooks. But I cannot find a good hook in a short time. Could you give some suggestions how to write good hooks in a short time?

This too does not effectively introduce the issue of this topic. You need to paraphrase your prompt for this. This is what I suggest;However, nowadays in many countries, the teaching is becoming a less popular profession due to some reasons.

Yes, This one is very good for me. Thank you again, dumi!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 24, 2014   #6
Another essential problem is the bad behaviour of present-day students. These days, children do not have the same respect (like what?) or teachers as they did in past decades, when corporal punishment was commonplace. According to recent survey, current pupils tend to disobey teachers (how they disobey the teacher? leave away the homework or late to the school hours?) or even behave rudely (give black and blue to the teachers or what?) toward them. As a result, potential teachers (how you define the potential teachers) are greatly discouraged from choosing this profession as their future job. Dealing with issue involves parents teaching their offspring that they need to have respect for adults and should not behave in inappropriate ways.

I feel this is a weak paragraph as to what to support the thesis.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 24, 2014   #7
It means that I need to work more on catchy hooks. But I cannot find a good hook in a short time. Could you give some suggestions how to write good hooks in a short time?

Lots of students have this problem. For some topics you would easily get an idea to come up with a great hook, but sometimes you might struggle. In such cases, start your essay with introducing the background of the issue statement. This is pretty easy because all you need to do is to paraphrase the topic (prompt) . When you proceed with the essay and even when you complete the essay, sometimes you may get a bright idea for a hook. Then come back and insert it :)
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Apr 24, 2014   #8
Hi Uzboy,
First of all, your essay has more number of words i.e. 388 which I feel as too much and it is highly difficult for you complete your task 2 within 40 mins out of 1 hour.

It is good enough if you are able to manage your time for both the task.

By 21st century, in many countries, being a teacher in a school was held in high esteem in the job market.

We are still running in 21st century, hence the about statement is not that meaning full and catchy as Dumi said.

The first factor to consider in terms of the shortage of teachers is a significant difference in the salaries paid to teachers and other qualified workers, which are notably higher.

. First of all, the most significant factor which plays a major role while someone choosing their profession is their salary package. Apparently, nowadays, people who are working less selfishly especially like teachers earning visibly much lesser salary than as compared to technical profession such as software Engineers.

Consequently, the prospect of low income discourages students from pursuing a career in teaching.

--> Good Sentence
You can add one more reason like" As result of huge financial burden in certain families, where people inevitably looking for a better paid jobs than thinking about servicing as teacher for the benefit of the society. "


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