Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The debatable issue regarding to what is the primary function of post-secondary education



amrillahmk 29 / 31  
Nov 14, 2016   #1
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

As yet, the debatable issue regarding to what the primary function of post-secondary education remains unchanged. It is generally believed by some people that the new insights and abilities related to the occupation should be provided by universities, while others assume the knowledge itself should be seen for its own interest regardless of whether or not it would be beneficial for employer. As such, I would argue that the main purpose of a campus is to educate people and both views should be conducted in balance.

To begin with, I would say the ultimate goal of third-level education is to educate people and broaden their horizon. This is because university is not a factory, so, when university merely purposes to produce workers, then it is not education at all. Subsequently, I firmly believe that when many people are armed with the knowledge, it would make the advancement in science so that human civilization will develop progressively.

However, it is important to remind that knowledge is one of the key factors of getting an occupation in modern society. Thus, the role of education in college, on the one hand, should also impart people with skills they need in the workplace so that they can live to the fullest. By gaining new abilities in university for working, it would bring positive impact to their development for facing the given task by their employers.

In conclusion, although the primary function of tertiary education is to educate people, but the purpose of education itself should include the progress of knowledge for its own sake as well as should provide skills which people need to cope with their responsibilities in workplace. Thus, a balance is required.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Nov 14, 2016   #2
Hi Amril,

Here's my feedback based on IELTS band descriptors.

Task Response:
- The absence of examples in the main body paragraphs can make your ideas are not sufficiently developed. However, you are able to address all parts of the task although some parts are fully covered than others. Therefore, by having some positive features of band 6 and negative features of band 5, I assume that this essay is worth 5.5 for task response.

Coherence and Cohesion:
- Due to the existence of overall progression in the introduction paragraph and effective usage of cohesive devices, I can say that you are able to get 6 for this one.

Lexical Resource:
- Your attempt to use some less common vocabularies like "horizon and insights" but with an inaccuracy in plural-singular form can raise your score in lexical resource to 6.

Grammatical range and Accuracy:
- By using simple and complex sentence forms, your writing is getting better. The thing that is unfortunate is that there are still some inaccuracies when writing some complex sentences like "although......., but..." double connectors issue, but it doesn't reduce communication. Thus, 6 is the most appropriate score for this part.

As you can see Amril, an overall score for this essay is approximately 6.0. However, this is just my opinion towards your essay. It might be only a prediction, but if you consider some points that I have delivered, it might be beneficial for your future practices or even real test. :)


Home / Writing Feedback / The debatable issue regarding to what is the primary function of post-secondary education
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳