IELTS Task 1; Describe the diagram about nuclear reactor

The diagram reveals the information about processing of steam which use a gas-cooled nuclear reactor. Overall, It is noticeable that the production of steam requires three chief steps.

To begin, the water is injected through gas blower, after being injected then the water turns into cool gas duct. Following this, the cool gas duct is flowed into a shield which is made by concrete

In the second stage of the processing, the cool gas duct is heated by an uranium fuel element which have a assign to provide energy and to heat the cool gas duct. At this point, pressure vessel, graphite moderators are also have a dominant effect to control the process of reaction. In order to turn cool gas duct into hot gas duct, fuel charge tubes and boron is required to maintain heating process.

In the final phase, subsequently, hot gas duct is changed a form into steam. After being processed, hot gas duct is eventually turned into steam and is shot by turbo-alternator to the free air.

• 
  IELTS_Writing_Task_1.png
  

hi furgon,
it is very nice to read your writing because you use a wide-range of words.

The diagram reveals the information ... (its better to give more information to your 1st paragraph, such as the 2 part of the system: reactor and heat exchanger)

... a shield which is made by concrete.(put the full stop, and i think its better not to divided this into different paragraph) In the second stage (...) uranium fuel element which havehas (refer to the cool gas duct ) a assign to provide energy and to heat the cool gas duct. At this point, pressure vessel,and graphite moderators are also havegive a dominant effect to control the process of reaction.

keep learning, and good luck!

Furqanda, you need to complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:

The diagram reveals... (1st sentence)
There are two major equipment... (2nd sentence)
Overall, it is noticeable that,... (3rd sentence)

Bear in mind that each paragraph of your essay needs to have at least 3 sentences in each before it can even be considered acceptable by the examiner. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the diagrams you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system. So the following still needs work.

In the final phase,... (1st sentence)
After being processed,... (2nd sentence)
Eventually,... (3rd sentence)

Hope this helps :)