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IELTS essay/ describing the information in the two graphs below



pendar 6 / 12  
Sep 23, 2010   #1
Dear friends
Please help me in revising my IELTS essay

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.
you can find the charts in this link

The two pie charts compare the best level of education for female in someland in 1945 and 1995.
Overall, the level of education increased considerably over fiftieth - year period.
In 1945, almost three quarter of women had less than 3 years of education, half of them, 35%, were illiterate and another half had third grade. In the same time, only 15 percent of women in someland spent maximum 6 years in school. As years went by, the minimum level of education rose to 9 years in 1995. On the other hand, there were no women who studied less than 9 years in school. The percentage of women who were 9 years students remained constant, at 10 % for both years.

According to the charts, in 1945 the best level of education was first degree, followed by 12 years, the percentage of women for them were 1% and 4%, respectively; while the half of women had first degree in 1995. Post graduated females and women who spent maximum 12 years in school accounted for 20% separately. The remaining segment was 10% which belonged to women whose highest level of education were 10 years.

Thanks for your helpful comments

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 26, 2010   #2
Maria, thanks for doing this! Ana, I think this is the kind of essay that should help you improve your skill a lot. It is the kind of essay that I think will help you if you practice the correct version of each sentence 10 x each. Speak and type each sentence ten times.

Also, add a conclusion sentence at the end so that the essay will end with a conclusion/observation about the whole 2-graph presentation.

:-)


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