Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


DESCRIPTION OF A PERSON - he is my friend and his dream is to become a professional gamer


Samuel22122001 1 / -  
Nov 4, 2016   #1
I would be really grateful if you could correct it thanks

DESCRIPTION OF A PERSON

I have a friend named Baran he is 14 years old and we know us since we were 1-year-old.
He is about 1.70m tall and 65 kg heavy. Baran has an oval face and big brown eyes. His mouth is big but his lips are small and his hair is brown and short but when it's to log it became curly. He is very normal. Baran always wear t-shirts and jeans. When he meets someone the first time he is very shy but when he knows someone better he is really funny and then he has a big mouth. His dream is to become a professional Gamer because of this he plays a lot and when I say a lot then I mean really a looooot. He isn't very active, he loves to sit somewhere and play videogames or watch people who play videogames. He's a good friend because he has always time for his friends and when you motivate him he can be really active too. I'm happy to have a friend like him and I hope our friendship still hold very long.

thx for all answers
Yuh 2 / 2 2  
Nov 4, 2016   #2
Hello Samuel22122001,
Here is my point of view you can refer,

He is 14 years old and we have knownuseach other since we were 1-year-old boys .
He is about 1.70 meter tall and 65 kilogram heavy.
... his lips are smallthin. Also,and his hair (...) but when it's to logit is too long, it becamebecome curly.
Baran always wears t-shirts and jeans. When he meets someone at the first time he is very shy but whenuntil he knows someone better, he is really funny and (then he has a big mouth ??? what do you mean?) he will talk so much .

... become a professional Gamer because of this. Therefore, he plays a lot and whenever I advice him to give up playing games, he only keeps silentI say a lot then I mean really a looooot . He isn't veryis in active. In fact, He loves (...) and plays videogames or watchs other people who play videogames. However, he isHe's a good friend because ...

I'mI am happy to have ...
and I hope our friendship has been holding .
Sincerely!


Home / Writing Feedback / DESCRIPTION OF A PERSON - he is my friend and his dream is to become a professional gamer
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳