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IELTS TASK 1 : The diagram describes a circulation of air leaking into and out in a house


Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Sep 17, 2015   #1
The diagram describes a circulation of air leaking into and out in a house having two floors. Overall, it can be seen that air leaking into the house passes through a slot located in four of five rooms. Generally, windows dominating a mount of air enter into the house.

Turning to air leaking into the house which consists of two floors. The first floor is where the air enters into all rooms through windows, kitchen vens, door, fireplace, and electrical outlet, whereas in the basement, the air passes driver vent, windows, and outdoor faucet. Surprisingly, the generator room which is in the basement does not have circulation.

Regard to the circulation process, the air leaking into the room, passing a small slot is located in all rooms. Specially plumbing stack vant is used as air exhaust in basement area. Moreover the different condition occurs upstair. It can be seen that in the bathroom, the circulation of wind, which enter into, can be fast reduced as it has a bathroom fan vent and a few crannies to release the hot temperature. This is inversely proportional to the kitchen room which has no special circulation in order to make hotter temperature. In addition, recessed lights, which is active, bring the kitchen room becoming the hottest. Meanwhile, the main room has a great circulation since attich hatch can regulate the temperature well.




Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Sep 17, 2015   #2
Hello brother Abraham

Actually, this is good essay
only small mistakes.

Generally, windows dominating a mountlarge amount of air enter into the house.

It can be seen that in the bathroom, the circulation of wind, which enter into, can be fast reduced as it has a bathroom fan vent and a few crannies to release the hot temperature.

its my re-write, since i can clearly catch your idea in that sentence.
It can be seen that in the bathroom, the hot temperature can be fast reduced if any fan vent and a few crannies being
installed.


Good luck bro!!
broerjuang 5 / 6 1  
Sep 17, 2015   #3
Hi Abraham,

I found two misspelling words in your essay:
vant, and attich : vent and attic

Let me try to polish your sentence,

The first floor is where the air enters into all rooms through windows, kitchen vens, door, fireplace, and electrical outlet , whereas in the basement, the air passes driver vent, windows, and outdoor faucet.

I think you'd better separate that sentence into two:

Air enters the first floor through the gap such as electrical outlet, door, fireplace, kitchen vent and windows. ....

Hope this help! :)


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