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The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.


just_writer 24 / 42 5  
Oct 27, 2017   #1

salmon life cycle



The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The diagram illustrates the circle of life for a specific fish name salmon from the day they come out of eggs to become adult salmons.

The eggs of this kind of fish could be found under small stones under reed plants in the upper part of the river where the water moves slowly. After about 5 to 6 month they become fry and their length grow to 3-8 cm. This is when they migrate to lower part of the river where the water current is fast. They stay there about 4 years until they become smolt with 12-15 cm long.

The next phase of their life is experiencing open sea for approximately 5 years, this is when they become adult salmons with the length of 70-76 cm. They circle back to the upper part of the river to put their eggs under the small stones.

In summary, this fish's life cycle takes about 10 years, from being born as fry, to reproduce new eggs into the upper part of the river as adult salmons.

(167 Words)




TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Oct 27, 2017   #2
Hi, your writing is clear and understandable, but I think you have to refer to the diagram more in your report. I expected to hear "the diagram shows", "the diagram displays" and so on. It might also be good to give an overview of the diagram. Say something like "The diagram is laid out in a rough circle, with the life stages progressing in a counter-clockwise manner. A separate rectangular area at the bottom of the diagram compares the size of the salmon in its three life stages: fry, smolt, and adult."

Here are some other suggestions:

The diagram illustrates the circle of life {"circle of life" is not really correct - maybe "the various stages a particular species of fish called the salmon passes through during its lifetime ..." } for a specific fish name salmon

... to become adult salmon {the plural of salmon is salmon - also the diagram includes the part of their lives when they are still eggs, it does not start "the day they come out of eggs"}

kind of fish can be found

After about 5 to 6 months they hatch and become fry and their length grows to 3-8 cm.

migrate to the lower part

they become smolt of 12-15 cm in length.

experiencing the open sea

they become adult salmon with a length of 70-76 cm.

the river to lay their eggs

from being born as fry, to reproducing through laying new eggs

as adult salmon.
CeciCob 1 / 2  
Oct 28, 2017   #3
You have to state an overview in the introducing paragraph. Try to say something such as the number of stages and the duration fo the process.


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