'Dieting - a billion dollar market' - ielts

Dieting can change a person's life for the better or ruin one's health completely. What is your opinion?
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Dieting can be said as the single most challenging task for many people around the world. Many find it very hard to control their tastebuds.People spend millions to spend thoese extra few pounds around their waist.

Dieting is a billion dollar market and many companies introduce new scientific and innovative methods to attract new people to follow their products. Afterall everyone wants to take a lions share of price.

Dieting can transform one's life. It can shower confidence, happiness and help someone radiate. It is very important to understand their body physically and mentally before plunging into changing food habits. Unless, someone understands themselves well, it may be hard for them to choose the dieting method. Due to the fact that number of dieting methods are available, people can go wrong in their choice and eventually attain no results.

By choosing a right program, one can see the results and benefits as time goes by. Dieting can regularise the apetite, increase digestion and reduce gastric problems.Dieting for a longer period of time increases the efficiency of all organs.

Opting for a wrong diet program can lead to serious health problems. There are some products in the markrts which forces the yser to have their products once or twice a day. If this product is food for a long time, the person may get into problems like weakness, depression etc. This is nothing but starvation indirectly. Such products or programs spell a catastrophy.

To sum up, dieting in general is a proven method for those who wants to transform and rejuvenate themselves. However care must be taken in choosing a right dieting program.

vignesh,

I like your essay, can see some spots where it might benefit from some editing or re-structuring but nothing major.

First, you may want to change up your first few sentences. They all start with the word "Dieting" which can make it seem like you're just listing bullet points instead of writing a paragraph.

I has been said that dieting can be...just an example for a opening sentence revision.

Also, give it a read through and double check your grammar, noticing a few small things here and there...

take a lions share of price should be of the price

Due to the fact that number of dieting...omit fact that

Opting for a wrong diet program....use "the" instead of "a"

just a few examples, a few small changes and it should be fine

best of luck!!

Many find it very hard to control their tastebuds.
I belieive it would be better for this sentence if you were to combine it with the previous one , maybe with a comma or a semicolon

people spend millions to spend (shed) those extra few pounds around their waist.

other than that there are a few errors here and there, and Susan has stated a couple of those.

Good Luck =D

Hai...

First of all i dodn't think it is the single most challenging task, as you wrote...?

:split the 1st sentance of 2nd para..
...doller market.
(new sentance) Many companies...new products.

:everyone.... Who? (make it clear)-> these companies

:((I feel..not sure...
2nd para is off topic, u didn't connect it to the main idea.Moreover no question about conpanies involvment))

:Help some one radiate...: what..?
(not clear)

:4 para -> start with On the other hand

:i like your simple conclution

All the best..

You are really just bulleting facts. You need to add connecting sentences in between each of the sentences. Your end is abrupt and choppy. Also, the essay needs to flow. For each topic you talk about you need to expand more on it. For example, paragraph no.2, you can talk about an example of one diet and how much people spend on it.