The differences and similiraties of PIURA and AREQUIPA -Comparison/Contrast Essay

Hi everybody, I was wondering if someone can check and maybe correct this peruvian essay =)

Well. I tried to make an Essay about the differences and similiraties of PIURA and AREQUIPA 2 cities of PERU taking in consideration the climate, types of activities and locations of beaches and mountains but I'm not so sure..

Some words that maybe you don't understand:
Mancora and Posicta are beaches
Piura and Areqipa are 2 cities
Cotahuasi canyon and La Chila Mountains are native names

Here is the Essay:

Piura vs. Arequipa

People are always looking forward to their vacation period. There are many options to choose. However, the two most common places that people would go for vacations are the beaches of Piura and the beautiful mountains of Arequipa. Both places offer a variety of fun activities. The beaches of Piura offer activities that the mountain of Arequipa cannot offer and vice versa. The mountain and the beach are totally different. The purpose of this essay is to contrast the climate, types of activities and locations of beaches and mountains.

I am going to discuss Arequipa first. Climate is the main factor in determining if a vacation is enjoyable as a person who dislikes the cold weather would not enjoy the coolness of the mountains. However, it is the climate that influences the type of activities offered. Such activities would be mountain climbing, mountain biking, hiking, and skiing. Besides, there are many regions that have mountains where people can go and have a great vacation. For example, Cotahuasi Valley is famous for its beauty and the great variety of attractive places it has. It is located in La Chila Mountains and the Valley is well known for the Cotahuasi canyon, the deepest canyon in the world.

In spite of this description about Arequipa, Piura also shares some several important points to consider.

To compare Piura with Arequipa, Piura has a warm weather that is one of the most important features that the beaches has, especially near to Mancora beach. Sun and fun are two words that describe Piura. The temperature in those places is always hot. The sea and the warm climate determine the activities that are available at the beach. People can swim, play volleyball, play soccer, and ride water bikes. In most coastal sites, there are discos and restaurants where people can dance or party throughout the night. For example, Mancora's beach is a frequented place for the surfers because of its tall waves, while Pocitas's beach is favored by tourists because its small pools are ideal for worry-free bathing.

It doesn't matter what place a person decides to choose. The fun is 100% guaranteed. People often choose one of these vacation places depending on their liking. I like the beach better than the mountains, but sometimes it is better to take a risk and try a different place to enjoy like Arequipa.

Thanks a lot, I hope your comments

There are many options to choose from. However,the two most common places that people would go for vacation are the beaches of Piura and the beautiful mountains of Arequipa


You don't have to mention it you have already said it in your first paragraph


Climate is the main factor in determining if a vacation is enjoyable as a person who dislikes the cold weather would not enjoy the coolness of the mountains. However,it is the climate that influences the type of activities offered.

However , Such activities would be Mountainmountain climbing, mountain biking, hiking, and skiing are some activities people can enjoy when going to the mountains.
It is located in La Chila Mountains and the Valley is well known for the Cotahuasi canyon, the deepest canyon in the world.


This is a good sentence


People often choose one of these vacation place depending on their liking.

Hi Kimayu,

First, thanks a lot by responding my post!!
Second, Now you think this essay is OK ?? Or you just made a fast review because I don't want to commit a mistake in my presentation. If not can you or someone else can give his/her opinion

Thanks again

There are many options from among which to choose. However, the two most common places that people would go ...

I am going to discuss Arequipa first.--- this kind of topic sentence is weak. You can always improve this sort of sentence by saying something to capture the main idea that the discussion reveals. That way, it is a REAL topic sentence. It REALLY tells what the message of the paragraph is.

In spite of this description about Despite the appeal of Arequipa, Piura is worth some consideration because it shares some several important points to consider. ---complete this sentence by saying something about Piura... something specific. Make it so that your discussions begin with a clear statement about a main idea.

It doesn't matter what place a person decides to choose.-----again, this could be better if you said something useful, something with real content and a real message.

Make it so that each para begins with a sentence that would be almost enough to convey the main idea of the para. Compare contrast essays are difficult! I think the topic sentences are the part you need to work on.

Thanks, but I think that the worries problem is the concluding sentence but If you said that ... I think that I'm still have some doubt on your point of view

What do you mean? You are concerned about the last sentence of each paragraph? The topic sentence is the first sentence of each paragraph, and it is most important because if the reader does not learn exactly what the paragraph is about in the first sentence of the paragraph, the whole paragraph can cause misunderstanding and a frustrating reading experience.

You do well by writing "First I am going to talk about..." but you can do better by saying, "My most important observation about Piura is that it is _____________." Give the reader a main idea for each paragraph... something to remember.

:-)