job right away after high school or further study
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Many students face the dilemma of whether studying higher education or getting a job after graduating from high school. I strongly believe that studying at university or college gives students better chances to promote themselves in their life.
There are various compelling reasons why pupils should have a higher education. People who have bachelor's degrees are likely to attain a perfect job with a higher salary than non-graduate counterparts. With the development of business, the job market is becoming more and more competitive. Thus young people with lower or no degrees have no opportunities to compete with those who have a more educated workforce. For example, many jobs like doctor, lawyer... demand high qualification, experiences, and specialist knowledge
On the other hand, I firmly hold the view that getting a job after graduating from high school makes students be more independent. Instead of wasting a lot of money on studying, they can afford to earn their living. They have enough conditions to share the burden of family expenses. Furthermore, they are likely to gain a wealth of experience and soft skills which attribute to promote their career prospects. With many years of experience, they could startup to gain more achievement like opening a restaurant or establishing a new company.
In conclusion, I think that students should have a higher education to get a better chance for career prospects.
This essay was for IELTS Task 2, I think is better to explain in the first paragraph why getting a job has many benefits, and in the next paragraph why education is important. So this essay will be balanced to talk about both views. Next suggestion for one paragraph built at least 2-3 sentence not only one sentence
Same idea with @Brelyantika16, you should place your opinion on the first paragraph. Therefore, it's better to combine your first two paragraphs into one that includes both a general statement and your opinion (2 sentences)
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15467 The prompt for this essay asks you to discuss 2 public points of view and then offer a personal opinion. Your restatement reflects a single, run-on sentence that does not consider the 3 instruction presentation requirement. Your restatement should, for this particular essay contain:
- First public pov (university is the best way to get a career)
- Second pov (it is better to work right after high school)
- A reference to a personal point of view discussion.
When you read your essay, you will see that the first paragraph was improperly formatted. I believe you accidentally pressed the enter key, causing a split between the paraphrase and your opinion indicator sentence. Always make sure that you write 3-5 sentences for both the opening and concluding paraphrase. Otherwise, your essay doesn't follow the required restatement requirement.
Avoid the use of informal punctuation marks such as ellipses in your opinion essay. It removes the academic integrity of your presentation. Always double check your punctuation marks, You are missing a period in one sentence.
The reasoning paragraphs need to have 3 presentations. You discussed only one combined discussion paragraph for the 2 public opinions. Each opinion needs to be fully developed in a 5 sentence, standalone paragraph to be considered fully developed and explained. Your personal opinion needs to be the 3rd paragraph in the presentation.
