Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


DISCONTENT IS VITAL TO GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT



singingbird 4 / 10  
Apr 22, 2010   #1
Please,comment on my essay. Your suggestions will help to get a good score.
thank you
Topic:
NOBODY EVER MADE ANY PROGRESS BY BEING CONTENTED OR SATISFIED. DISCONTENT IS VITAL TO GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT- WHETHER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ONE PERSON OR A WHOLE NATION.

DISCUSS THE EXTENT TO WHICH YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS ABOVE.


The only animals on earth with lot of enthusiasm and excitement to explore new things are ,human beings. A person is not satisfied with whatever he possess; this very nature of humans ,triggered to invent, discover and develop many new and unknown things to him.

What might have happened, if a person is content with whatever he has? what will be his motive to move forward? will his journey end ? No innovative thoughts, no inventions and we lead a still life without excitement. A discontent person ,will never allow that to happen.

If our ancestors were satisfied with fire cooking, today we might have, had no chance of enjoying the luxury of oven, microwave, toaster cooking. If people were satisfied with tree shades, can we imagine of air conditioners today? no chance. If kerosene lamps satisfied the users, electric lights might have not entered our houses.

There is a lot of change in means of transport today. Air traveling, jets, space crafts all are new and made our lives more accessible and flexible at work. If people were content , a very thought of a plane might have not occurred to them. Whole world is accessed with the help internet, though it was not known to any one ,a few decades before. Of course, definitely it is an outcome of enthusiastic, unsatisfied ,working brain.

If we consider a nation, its competitiveness,its use of resources,use of high-end technology are all the outcomes of the nation's zeal to achieve and to prove its strengths in this multitasking world. A self content nation can never try or even stay in the competition.

If personally considered, for example : my father is a small business man in a small town . His enthusiasm in business and a zeal to prove himself, made him one of the well respected and recognized businessmen in the society. If he was content with whatever he had then, he might have not seen the progress today.

There is a saying " As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death." So, discontent is vital to growth, whether it is for a nation or for a person. I totally agree with this.

thuong_lethi 4 / 9  
Apr 23, 2010   #2
A discontent person has never allowed that to happen.
....today we might have, had no have or not chances of enjoying the luxury...
I think that your essay use bit much "might" and this make me feel your reason is not certain.

good luck
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Apr 23, 2010   #3
The only animals on earth with lot of enthusiasm and excitement to explore new things are ,human beings. This sentence does not seem to fit. IT is about curiosity rather than discontent. I think you should use the word discontent in that first paragraph.

many new things that were previously unknown to him.
In fact, you can even make it better if you use a word that is better than "things."
many truths that were previously unknown to...

No comma necessary in this sentence:
His enthusiasm in business and a zeal to prove himself made him one of the well most respected and recognized businessmen in the society.
OP singingbird 4 / 10  
Apr 24, 2010   #4
thanks for the corrections.


Home / Writing Feedback / DISCONTENT IS VITAL TO GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳