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Discussing the benefits of working in more than one job



m7mdbsheer 6 / 7  
Nov 20, 2016   #1
These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, people tend to work in many different professions in the course of their lives. There are many benefits of this trend, also there are a number of drawbacks.

On the one hand, changing the career path can be seen as beneficial in various ways. Firstly, working in different jobs often broadens the one's horizon. In other words, the person who chooses to change his or her job would have a chance to acquire new knowledge and meet new colleagues; as a result they will improve their expertise and expand their social circle, all of which are valuable life skills. Secondly, the new career might have a financial advantage over the prior one. People often chance their jobs to find better opportunities; therefore, they change to more financially satisfying jobs. Finally, by experiencing more jobs, the individual might eventually find out where his or her passion is, and which job are much suitable for them. Thus, they will be more creative and successful in their targeted jobs.

On the other hand, not having a steady career could have several negative effects. There will be a suffering period in the beginning of every job transition is made. Because each time the worker will probably need to start from scratch again. In addition, blue-collar workers will probably not get justified promotions or hold important positions if they change their career contentiously. To be a CEO of an organization, for example, the employee needs to spend long time in the same company.

In conclusion, doing more than one job during the life could have both pros and cons in the same measures.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Nov 22, 2016   #2
Hi Mohammed, below are my thoughts on your essay.

2nd paragraph

- On the one hand, - at this point, this particular phrase is not necessary as the ideas you have written is not compared with anything yet.

- changing thea career path can be
- Firstly , working in different jobs often broadens the one's horizon.
- they will improve and develop their expertise and expand their social circle,
- Secondly, the new career mightwill have a financial advantage over the prior one.
- People often chancechange their jobs to
- to a more financially satisfying jobs.
- mightwill eventually find out where
- his or her passion is, and which job areis much suitable for them.

There you have it Mohammed, this is just an initial observation and modification for your essay and I should be able to provide you further enhancement in the next post.
SYDA 11 / 21  
Nov 22, 2016   #3
Hi,

I read your esssy, I think u have to recheck your format of writing.

~ you need to write introduction and conclusion at least 3 sentence. otherwise,your score will be affected.

~ your introduction is poorly paraphrase.

~ notwithout having a steady career

keep writing :-)
ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Nov 28, 2016   #4
Hi, here are my suggestions

- first, for your introductory paragraph, you have to make some paraphrases of the prompt and give your general statement that you want to discuss in your next paragraph

- in your body paragraphs, you have to create a main idea, explanation, example and result
- last, in conclusion, you may add your suggestion. at least try to create 2-3 sentences per paragraph


On the one handTo begin with, changing the career ...

as a result, (need comma) they will improve ...

People often chancechange their jobs to ...

you have a good flow and less grammar mistakes
keep writing


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