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TOEFL ESSAY: Economic Growth or Environmental Concerns ?



ptlove4ever 2 / 2  
Jan 13, 2013   #1
Thank you so much for taking time to look at my essay. I have been busy with preparing for TOFEL Test recently and I happen to find this forum today. It is awesome! And I like the feeling of learning from exchanging experiences. However, I still do not figure out how to reply to or edit others' essays. Once figure out, I will also try my best to provide my advices to different people. Please share your suggestion freely. I really need your help. Thank you! :)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To increase economic growth, government can neglect environmental concerns. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

It is undeniable that the development of economy has brought great changes in everyone's life and significantly elevated our living standards. Therefore, some people argue that the development of economy must come before all else, including the environmental concerns. In my opinion, however, under no circumstances should we seek temporary economic development at the expense of the environment and resources because if we do so, we could never achieve sustainable development of economy and such a practice is not in accord with human welfare.

In the first place, if the government neglect the importance of environmental protection when promoting the economic development, it could make a profit in the short term but suffer a larger loss in the long run. It is because of the obvious fact that we need to utilize resources from the environment for developing economy and they can be depleted or polluted if we overlook the environmental protection. For example, as we all know, water plays an important role in the economic growth. Farmers use it to irrigate crops, factories use it to create and process products, shipping companies use it to transport goods and hydroelectric power stations use it to create the electricity. However, clean water is becoming increasingly scarce for two reasons. First, people lavishly use water for irrigation and have no idea of conserving water resources in our daily life. Second, water is seriously contaminated by the waste products generated by factories and refineries. Over time, the shortage and pollution of water will result in terrible consequences that people could no longer use water in agriculture, industry, transportation and the generation of electricity and have to find substitute, whose costs might beyond our reach. Not to mention the economic growth in the future.

In the second place, government could not improve people's lives through developing the economy at the expense of environment and resources, instead, people will have to endure unfavorable living environment and lose happiness. Industrialized societies clearly cause severe pollution to the environment of our planet, especially to the Earth's atmosphere. People in cities have to bear the strong fumes of the automobile exhaust, the smoke and soot causing by air pollution and the increased radiation and ultraviolet rays bringing by the depletion of the ozone. What's more, the burning of fossil fuels produces a large amount of nitrogen oxides, which damage the lungs and irritate the eyes of people. No one would enjoy living in contaminated environment and people might feel anxiety and frustrated when failing to see clear sky for a long time. Our government should not pursue the economic growth by sacrificing the happiness of everyone.

Admittedly, with the development of economy, the qualities of our living have been improved notably. People are able to earn more money, live in bigger houses and afford better medical treatment. However, we actually can realize a better development of economy under the condition of conserving environment. For instance, government can attract tourists and investors by clean and beautiful environment. The tourism industry and foreign investment can also facilitate the economic development

In conclusion, considering the fact that developing economy at the expense of the environment is not sustainable and do harm to human being's welfare, government should definitely abandon this practice.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jan 15, 2013   #2
This is a very nicely written essay. Very well constructed and very clear. I can not find many mistakes in it because your grammar also seems to be fine according to my knowledge. Very well done and keep it up. :)
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 16, 2013   #3
It is undeniable that the development of economy has brought great changes in everyone's life and significantly elevated our living standards.

It's better if you say this in present tense;
It is undeniable that economic development brings positive changes into everyone's life and significantly elevates the living standards of people.

Therefore, some people argue that the development of economy must come before all else, including the environmental concerns.

Therefore some people argue that economic development should come before everything else, including environmental concerns.


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