IELTS task 2: EDUCATION MUST BE COMPULSORY ?

Topic: Education is recognized as vital to the future of any society in today's world. Government throughout the world should make education compulsory for all children between the ages of 5 and 15. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people claim that the education is considered as the main key to open a bright future of the world. Considering this, current governments are trying to seize such considerable opportunity by designing a mandatory curriculum for all children from 5 to 15.In my perspective, this method would benefit greatly to both the students' long-term success in career as well as their roles as a good citizen in society.

First and foremost, there is no denying that such educational pattern has made it feasible for the children to form the basic knowledge as a firm background to have a good job. Apparently, at this age, students are likely to acquire the lessons more easily due to their sensitive brain cognition. Hence, the approach to higher education would be highly probable, leading to bright employment prospects. For example, well-educated students tend to be applied for leading company rather than those who are not allocated any. In short, the application of the compulsory curriculum has a positive impact on the students' future.

Likewise, this mandatory schooling performs a very crucial role in imposing ethics in students' behaviors. Children are easily influenced by social factors and therefore the schools' responsibility for adjusting their attitudes must be addressed. In particular, teachers are the supervisors who assist the students in being a good citizen by organizing a subject called civic education. Otherwise, without any morality at this initial stage, these pupils are likely to have a false conception in behaving, resulting in the severe consequences such as school violence, drug abuse and more.

To conclude, I have to reiterate the significance of compulsory education in opening up opportunities for students to have an ideal career as long as improving the moral standard in students' behaviors.

Hope will receive your supports :)

Many people claim that the education is considered as the main key to open a bright future of the world.

I would like to change this sentence into :

Education is the one of vital keys of human beings life for its future success.

-> the example is not convincing


-> ? which age?
The second paragraph looks like it does not contain any examples.

Education is considered as the key to success.
You need a hook which is powerful enough to grab the reader's attention towards your writing. It should be clear and relevant and come with a punch.

... when you use the word "such" it refers to some idea which has been told to the reader previously. However, this is the first sentence of your body paragraph and generally a paragraph starts with a new idea. So I find this word is inappropriate to use in the at place.


This sentence is pretty confusing due to its poor construction and organization. You need to re-write this to enhance its clarity.
Children are easily influenced by social factors and therefore the schools' responsibility for adjustingmolding their attitudes must be addressedto be more productive to society.