TOEFL : Education is a necessity / Marriage is one of the most important decisions of life

I am trying to develop my writing skills by working on each part individually. What do you think about these Introduction paragraphs?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements?

"A university education is necessary for success in today's world."

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Education is a necessity for a person to learn how to participate in society. It can be carried out in a form apprenticeship, which most often was the case in older times, or in a more modern educational system, that is going through stages in schools and getting more specialized in university. While a high school education is obligatory and a basis that everybody needs, attending college might not always be considered as a must. However, with the high rate of advances in the technology and science, the structure of the society and requirements for surviving and flourishing in it are changing as well. Adaptation to this high rate of change requires a higher and more advanced form of education, which make me believe that attending college satisfies this requirement to a great extent based on the following reasons.

Compare the advantages of marrying at a young age to marrying at an older age.

State and support your preference.

Marriage is one of the most important decisions of one's life, which can change the person either for the better or worse. The age of the couple can be highly influential on the outcome of the it. Whether getting married at a young age or at an older age both have some advantages that might vary for each individual. Although many might argue that getting married at a young age would have negative outcomes, I believe the advantages of getting married at a young age outweighs its disadvantages.

Neither introduction paragraphs are correct because you did not properly paraphrase the original prompt requirements. You deviated so much from the original discussions that you somehow managed to create your own discussion instruction for the prompts that were provided. You were not focusing on properly representing the original prompt. You just wanted to keep writing in a manner that you felt comfortable in so you did not even bother to double check the accuracy of your prompt paraphrasing.

In the first essay, your prompt presentation is way off base from the original. In the second essay, you are discussing the wrong requirement. You should only talk about the advantages of marrying at a young age. That is, unless you provided the wrong original prompts in both instances.

By the way, I need to warn you about the way you are preparing for your test. This is a complete waste of time. You cannot prepare for the test by practicing in sections. You won't be writing in sections at the exam center. Instead, you should always practice the full essays in a timed format similar to the set up at the exam center. If you don't do that during your practice, you are going to fumble and fail on the actual exam day because you won't be allowed to write only a section of the essay at a time. Always write a full essay so that you can develop all of your writing points in relation to the scoring requirements. This has to be done collectively at all times otherwise, you will never know if you are actually improving your skills or not.

@Holt
Thank you for the input. I am trying to learn how to write introduction paragraph properly. Then, I will work on the whole essay.
Anyways, I rewrote the paragraphs.

first one:
To be successful is most people's goal. achieving that goal takes hard work and sometimes education or training. However, a university education is really not necessary for success in many cases. the answer to the question of what success is depends on what one's goals are and the kind of aspirations a person has.

Second one:
Marriage is an important step in a person's life. It is a legal bond between two people and has important social and legal implications. To enter into this bond, a person should have some maturity. To consider the best age to enter a marriage, the advantages of marrying at different ages need to be compared.

Thanks in advance