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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - EDUCATION TOPIC


Jennieaufif 2 / 2 1  
Apr 3, 2024   #1
Question: Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Education is always considered as an attention- attracting topic. There is a growing concern that educational institutions should spend budget on technological devices for the quality improvement, however, some statements assume that investment should be given to educators. This essay will discuss these two crucial sides and present personal perspective.

In the modern society with the advancement of technology, it is undeniable that students should be accessible to computers or laptops to help them accomplish their assignments as well as possible. This should be the indispensable facilities of a school quality standard. School budget needs to be invested in repairing and maintaining them frequently. However, technological facilities could not absolutely contribute to the education quality.

On the other hand, teachers significantly contribute to the learning outcomes, particularly to elementary and secondary students. These students need to be guided by not only professional but also dedicated instructors since they are young and may be not able to have awareness of self-study. Therefore, teachers educating them should be sophisticated, overall well-qualified as well. Students need to learn how to be independent of their teachers and that is what a good teacher should do, guiding them in order to boost their attitude towards self-study positively, making their curiosity be aroused, which is vital, since only if the interest in study is inspired, students can find it one of purposes for their attendance at class.

From my viewpoint, I coincide with the investment on educators as thoughts expressed and presented above. Moreover, I would like to mention the possible drawbacks of addition of technological devices. In spite of their beneficial function to students' study, they could be described as tempting distraction. For instance, students would use them to excess and uncontrollably, which tends to affect their study to some extent when they completely immerse in video games. Besides, the more equipment would be installed, the more funding would be spent on maintaining and other additional expenses.

As has been demonstrated, schools should make funding for both facilities and teaching staffs, both all play important roles in expanding students' knowledge, however, I could say the teachers' quality outweigh the other factor, teachers are always requisite in the academic journey of any student.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Apr 13, 2024   #2
The prompt restatement has 2 immediately seen mistakes. The first, is that the opening sentence is unrelated to the given topic. It is not related to the discussion in any way. It only creates a prompt deviation that will cause deductions in terms of task accuracy. The second, is that as the writer, you should be stating your opinion in the last sentence, inclusive of a thesis statement. You will receive deductions again, because you did not follow the expected writing format. While the 2 sentences in between follow the correct format for stating opinions, the other parts of the essay will cause this essay to receive a failing preliminary TA score. The overall discussion tends to also stray from the actual discussion points so, even though the essay is long, it will not receive a passing score.


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