Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

the effect of Global warming- thesis statement and topic sentence


fuieik 1 / -  
Jul 22, 2007   #1
hello, my lecturer asked me to write a paragraph of an essay with the topic "The effect of global warming".just one paragraph and I decided to write about sea level rise. below is my writing.. how, about it? Does it a good paragraph that have the right topic sentence? what is your comment? and my lecturer ask me to explain how the paragraph is a part of the essay ? and how it related to thesis statement?

THE EFFECT OF GLOBAL WARMING -SEA LEVEL RISE

Sea level is the most obvious impact of global warming. Sea level rise is an increase in sea level .An observed rise in sea level (10-20cm) during the twentieth century may be related to the increase in global mean temperature. With increasing average global temperature, the water in the oceans expands in volume. When the ocean expands, it takes up more space and sea level rises. Besides, additional water which had previously been locked up on land in glaciers enters them. Melting mountain glaciers also contributed to the changes of sea level. As temperature rise, ice will melt more quickly. New satellite measurements reveal that the Greenland and West Antarctic ice sheets are shedding about 125 billion tons of ice per year --- enough to raise sea levels by 0.35 millimeters (0.01 inches) per year.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Jul 23, 2007   #2
Greetings!

I think you have a good start with your paragraph! It appears that the first sentence is your thesis statement? If your essay's focus is on sea level rise, you might want to include "rise" in that sentence. I think you paragraph does a good job of explaining the phenomenon. However, if this is to be the opening paragraph of the essay, you want to keep it somewhat general--a sort of introduction to the topic. You can get into specifics about tons and millimeters in the following paragraphs. Your opening paragraph's last sentence should probably relate back to the thesis a bit more; perhaps something like "When the causes and effects of sea level rise are understood, it can be seen that global warming is a major contributing source which should be taken seriously." A thesis takes a position which is then supported by the rest of the essay.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


Home / Writing Feedback / the effect of Global warming- thesis statement and topic sentence