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Effect of the invention to auto car on the living of people in your contry.


Jul 5, 2012   #1
It is wildly belived that technology has changed every times .Before many years ago,there was a difficulty in communicating between each other,travel was difficult,because there no a cars and a trains.So evereyone who needed to go to another place would take along time before he arrived there.But now the new invention of technology it is made the communication between people more easier in several ways.This essay will briefly describe the effect of the invention to auto mobile on the living of people.

The transprtation,before there were using an old methods like camels,donkey and horses for traveling and carring from their town to another town but it took along

time and a lot of dangerously danger from walking for days at the desert because there is a lot of willd animals.So right now we have invented the new vehicles

such as the car ,boat ,trains and airplans.That is help us to go to anywhere in a few hours without feeling of tried.For example ,if someone living in Bangkok and

he wants to visit his family in Saraburi provide he cannnot come by his foot.So these inventions let our lives more easier than before.

In conclusion , every new invention made our lives easier comfortable and give us more benifits in our daily lives.

please help to give your comment and advise if I'am wrong .
Thank you so much.

Well, here are a few things that I suggest you should work on:
- Most important thing: always be aware of what verb tenses to use as it is one of the most basic things. Pay attention to your grammar.

- I pointed out some spelling mistakes. Maybe they were just typo, but still be careful
- Try to find synonyms => avoid repitition (for example: you kept using easy. replace it with words like comfortable, convenient,..)
- In the intro, you should restate the topic given, then state your opinion, don't make it too long. (I think the second and the third sentence in your intro were not necassary and should be put in the body paragraph)

- In the conclusion, again reword the topic and give a brief summary of your ideas about the topic.
- This one is just my opinion: I don't think writing only one paragraph would enable you to get a high score. Think of at least one more idea to lengthen your essay.


Best


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