Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Effects of Working and Studying at the Same Time



haitham 3 / 4  
Apr 18, 2012   #1
Effects of Working and Studying at the Same Time
Have you ever worked and studied full-time at the same time? If you have, have you achieved success in either? Absolutely, the answer is no. Taking classes full-time while working a full-time job is daunting; however, it sounds a challenge, so many people try it, but they cannot because it ruins their lives. Multitasking has negative consequences: bad social life, lack of sleep, and tight timetable.

All the things we do in life are to improve the way we live. We study, work, play sports, and make choices just to have a better social life. People who challenge themselves to work and study full-time will end up with a very bad social life especially those who are ESL students because of their English barrier. They will not have the time to be around their families and friends. They will not have time for themselves too. They will not be able to do the activities they used to do such as: playing sports, hanging out, partying, or even shopping. Their lives will be routine as living in a circle, waking up, going to school, going to work, coming back home, doing homework, sleeping, waking up, going to school, and so on. They will live in a circle which will cause them to hate their lives.

Lack of sleep is the biggest problem that working college students experience. They work eight or more hours a day, come back home, spend four or more hours doing schoolwork, and then they try to sleep for three or fewer hours a day. Doing this every single day will harm their health and their brain. Lack of sleep is the major cause of heart disease and high blood pressure. It kills the mood too. Working students will be having bad headaches and tiredness all the time. They will be having bad moods even talk to their families and friends. Lack of sleep impairs attention and thinking. Plus working students will not be able to comprehend easily. They will be all the time in bad mood, under stress, and in extremely bad health.

The most important thing in life we have is time: without maintaining it, life will not exist. Studying and working at the same time will burn your time and will make you busy all the time to the point you will not feel yourself to be living. It will make you busy all the time; thus, it will also be a complicated duty; to control school and work. For example, suppose you have some tests and a lot of homework, so you will have to skip some classes and take some days off work so you can study and do schoolwork. Sometimes you will have to skip classes because you didn't have chance to do the homework. Other times you will skip classes because you have a test and you didn't study for it. Working students get fired because they try to take advantage of their free minutes at work to do schoolwork. So lack of time will ruin both of them and you will not succeed on either one.

Working and studying at the same time can miss up your social life, your health, and your time. Even managing your time and putting in a lot of effort to accomplish priorities, yet taking classes full-time and working full-time job at the same time still difficult and has a lot of challenges and disadvantages. Focusing on either school or work is the best thing can a person do. It will make this person succeed and achieve instead of ruining everything.

Nify 1 / 1  
Apr 19, 2012   #2
You have to be careful with your use of tenses and your sentence formation. I corrected this section to show you things you missed out when you were proof reading so just be careful and you'll be fine.

Doing this every single day will harm their health and their brain. Lack of sleep is the major cause of heart disease and high blood pressure. It kills the mood too. Working students will be have bad headaches and be tired all the time. They will be have bad moods even when they talk to their families and friends. Lack of sleep impairs attention and thinking. Plus working students will not be able to comprehend easily. They be in bad moods all the time, under stress, and in extremely bad health.

The most important thing in life we have is time: without maintaining it, life will not exist. Studying and working at the same time will burn your time and will make you busy all the time, to the point you will not feel yourself living.It is complicated to control school and work,you may just end up failing in both.

That's how I would write it.
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Apr 19, 2012   #3
...AbsolutelyIn most instances, the answer is no. Taking classes full-time while working a full-time job is daunting...
...so many people try it, but for many they cannot because it ruins their lives...
...They will not have time for themselves either...

I have made a few revisions and as I understand, English is your second language? That being said, you have done considerably well. I would only advise that, while much of what you're saying is true for most people, I would emphasize statements such as "in my experience..." or "what I find/has been my reality..." rather than stating all of these troubles as plain facts for everyone like "...it will ruin your life". Some people, and a lucky few they are, manage to pull it off. So just try and incorporate some "personal opinion" type language.

I hope this has been helpful.
:)
bahareh 18 / 48  
Apr 19, 2012   #4
Hi;
There are some repeated phrases and words;
Their lives will be routine as living in a circle, waking up, going to school and work, coming back home, doing homework, sleeping, and so on. They will live in a circle which will cause them to hate their lives.

The second point for your writing; using present tense is much better than future tense when you talk about real life:
Their lives is tine as living in a circle, waking up, going to school, going to work, coming back home, doing homework, sleeping, and so on. They live in a circle which cause them to hate their lives.

good luck.


Home / Writing Feedback / Effects of Working and Studying at the Same Time
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳