Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


TOEFL - Employers should provide smoking areas for their employees



brisky 5 / 13  
May 11, 2014   #1
Smoking cigarettes has become a common habit among people. .As we all know that smoking is injurious to our health. It not only kills the one who smokes but also others around them. It is said that passive smoking is even more dangerous than smoking. So I think it is better to probode a seperate area for the employees who smoke.

To begin with, diseases caused by smoking kills more people than road traffic accidents every year. Cigarettes smoking causes deadly diseases like cancer, heart and lung diseases. Incidence of lung cancer has been increased over the past several years. This points out towards the increasing usage of tobacco as well as cigarette smoking. it is being said that smoking over a year reduce our life expectancy by 5 years. Passive smokers also gets affected by lung cancer. Many deaths have been reported. It is really unconvinient for a non smoker to smell the cigarette smoke. So providing a seperate smoking room will satisfy smokers and it will save the life of non smoking people.

secondly, it is not fair to ban smoking as it is a violation of democracy. But prohibiting public smoking is a must. Smoking is not a easy habit to stop, people get addicted to smoking easily. Nicotine is responsible for this addiction. These people get irritated or they will feel some kinds of discomfort if they donot smoke.This I turn affect the productivity of the company. If an employee cannot work properlythe company will not progress. Providing seperate rooms wil satisfy both smokers as well as non smokers.

Finally, if the companies ban the usage of cigarettes, people will reduce buying them. Tobacco industry is a booming business in our country. It contribute to economy of our nation by providing a good revenue to our government. Other than that these indusrtry provide empolymnet to a number of people, if these companies are shut down they become unemployed.

To sum it up, smoking rooms at workplace is a must. It makes both smokers and non smokers happy And can work there without any inconvenience.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
May 11, 2014   #2
First, it is great had you included the prompt of this task in this thread. Your prompt provides us lots of information and we can provide you with more meaningful comments as we can align our comments with what your prompt requires.

So I think it is better to probodeprovide a seperateseparate area for the employees who smoke.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
May 12, 2014   #3
Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words. Uppsss.., remember, 30 minutes to finish your essay are a must :D

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay).

With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.
dumi 1 / 6793  
May 13, 2014   #4
Cigarettes smokingSmoking causes deadly diseases like lung cancer, heart and lung diseases. IncidenceCases of lung cancer hashave been increased over the past several years. This points out towards the increasing usage of tobacco as well as cigarette smoking.(this is not delivering a clear idea. I feel it reads better without this line)itIt is being said that smoking over a year reduce our life expectancy by 5 years.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Employers should provide smoking areas for their employees
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳