This is a passionately argued and well-researched piece. I can tell that you care about this topic. So, let's make this as strong as you can make it.
The unemployment rate
and 5.1% in Non-indigenous.t
hat is 3 times more than the rate of 5.1% among
For the Indigenous Australians that are in remote communities the government should make a system where as soon as an indigenous Australian reaches the age of 18 they are brought into a populated region with more jobs opportunities.
Hmmm... that echoes forced relocation programmes of the past. From what I understand, your later suggestion of better schools in remote regions is more consistent with what indigenous elders say they want for the young people in their communities. You could also argue for sustainable economic development in remote regions.
But this brings me to the question that I have about this piece. You call it a feature article, but it reads more like an editorial. If you were asked to write a feature article, it may be that your instructor wants more facts and fewer suggestions. In a feature article, a reporter would report what indigenous leaders are calling for rather than come up with suggestions himself or herself.