Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


English 107 - money can't buy long-term happiness



Addow 1 / 3  
Nov 10, 2011   #1
Many people in today's society find themselves guilty of believing the common misconception that money can buy happiness. They go to school to become a doctor, lawyer, or other high paying job, with money and communal status as their only incentives. Many will find that they have fallen into a trap, when they start earning their large salary, but still are not happy. That it is because nowadays money plays a very imperative role in the society. In this time of crisis where not many people can reach to the end of the month, the answer of this question will be a resounding yes. But, for people who live comfortably with enough money to reach to the end of the month, the answer for this question probably will be no. Because, in most of cases, once achieved a minimum economic welfare to live in civilization, money ceases to be the star of their happiness. So, for citizens who live without monetary problems the increase of currency does not bring them contentment, while for inhabitants who resist prospering their loved ones, money gives them a warm and harmonious bliss.

Natives must not focus the money as the center of their lives because money is just a tool to survival. But some people use to forget this and have the currency as the most important thing in their life, forgetting that the money cannot buy jubilation. On the other hand, people are always saying what they would do if they had cash. Being rich can be defined as many things. It can be defined as being incredibly wealthy. It can also be defined as having friends and family who care about you. It depends on the person's definition of being rich. The person with the most money in the world can also be the loneliest person in the world. Putting it simply, money cannot buy happiness.

For some citizens, money not only brings happiness but it also brings problems.
One of them it is the fact that the money turns people materialistic and do not leave them to enjoy no materialistic things such as special moments with the family or friends; that happen because the concept of happiness for this people is to satisfy themselves with material things. According to that, people become selfish and they only think about themselves and about have more money. Another problem that money brings to rich people is the fact that people just want to stay with them or be his/her friend just because of their money. It is one of the worst things that can happen to this people because they do not know if somebody is his/her friend because they are nice persons or because they are interested in their money. So, in some cases the synonym of money could be the unhappiness.

However, if cheerfulness is truly living one's life to the fullest, then money cannot buy contentment. People discern that this idea of happiness is materialistic and petty, and they are quick to point it out in others, but cannot see it in themselves. Wealth cannot buy happiness, unless happiness is measured by possessions.

Happiness from money is very short lived. While the happiness of people who receive large sums of money might rise immediately after they receive that money, that happiness declines to only slightly above or equal to their level of happiness before the money came to them. It is this twist in values that have helped to make people unhappy. We need to put the things that matter most to our bliss in front of the things that matter to others' perceptions of them.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Nov 10, 2011   #2
In this time of crisis where not many people can reach to the end of the month, the answer of this question will be a resounding yes.But, for people who live comfortably with enough money to reach to the end of the month, the answer for this question probably will be no.

What exactly is the "question" you refer to in these 2 sentences? I would re-word this and omit the word question because it sounds confusing.

the increase of currency "wage increase" would sound better.

Try to simplify some of your big words (its kinda obvious you were using a thesaurus to get them) such as inhabitants and jubilation.

We need to put the things that matter most to our bliss in front of the things that matter to others' perceptions of them.
Be sure to make this statement in the beginning of your essay (use different words but say the same general idea) Doing this will tie everything together.

You have many good points, and you have a great topic, the grammar just needs a little work.
Guest /  
Nov 10, 2011   #3
They go to school to become a doctor, lawyer, or other high paying job, with money and communal status as their only incentives.

Doctors and lawyers are people, while "jobs" are not, making this part of the sentence incorrect. You could say They go to school to study medicine, law or other high-paying careers

Because, in most of cases,

Try not to begin your sentences with "because". You could instead say this is because.

when they start earning their large salary, but are still not happy

money plays an very imperative role

the answer for this question will probably be no

money makes people materialistic and does not let them to enjoy non-materialistic things

because they are nice people

the synonym of money could be the unhappiness


Home / Writing Feedback / English 107 - money can't buy long-term happiness
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳