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With the enhancement of new technologies, there are a variety of choices available



leothebest 1 / -  
May 26, 2022   #1
Some people believe that we have too many choices.

Do you agree or disagree?



These days, with the enhancement of new technologies, there are a variety of choices available to facilitate human's life. I completely agree with this point of view.

Firstly, with regards to education, students have more than one option to choose from in modern society. In former days, it was compulsory for learners to fully attend offline classes to gain a solid understanding of the studies. However, in digital era, aside from registering for face-to-face studying sessions, students are able to learn from their home with a laptop of a smartphone connected with the Internet. Thus, the development of the latest technologies has offered learners at any ages a wide range of studying methods.

Secondly, it is evident that there has been more means of transports manufactured to meet individuals' traveling demands. Taking Vietnam as an example, to travel on their regular basis, workers are free to choose different kinds of vehicles, such as buses, motorbikes, planes or even electric ones, based on the affordability or convenience. In the past, the old generations have fewer options regarding commuting in distance because of undeveloped technologies. For instance, some people went on foot, or rode a bike to pay a visit to their relatives, which was challenging in long distances. Therefore, thanks to the numerous availability of transportations, individuals have the freedom to choose better alternatives serving their purposes.

To conclusion, following the emerging technologies, there are a range of choices for human beings to select, which makes our life easier and more enjoyable.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15345  
May 26, 2022   #2
The writer should not have focused on technology as the basis of his topic restatement. This is because the original prompt did not imply reference point to that effect. It created an altered topic statement that will cause deductions to be applied to that section. Though the opinion presented is relevant to the original statement, the irrelevant discussion point addition cannot be ignored. The lack of a thesis statement to support the opinion is also going to affect the preliminary score. The upcoming discussion topics should have had a summary outline to complete the scoring requirements.

Please note that the essay lost cohesiveness the minute the writing indicated a focus on technology then suddenly moved on to the transport sector without a proper connecting transition. As this topic was not mentioned earlier, it will cause a lowering of the score due to lack of proper connecting and transition words. This is why a general topic focus would have been best.

The concluding summary is less than 2 sentences and 40 words. It is not a proper recap of the discussion. It will score less than expected as well.

The writer understood the question and delivered a focused single - discussion. However, his eifors in the restatement, lack of thesis presentation, incorrect discussion focus, and incomplete summary conclusion worked against his final score.


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