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ToEFL EVALUTION - government money grant for arts or enviornment safety.



sandipsinh 37 / 88  
Mar 28, 2014   #1
A government is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment .which do you think the goverment should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Healthy environment is necessary for inhabitant, considering the fact that currently our planet has been contaminated due to distinct pollution, natural disasters, and other ecosystem damages. It is essential for government to provide adequate living condition to people rather than spending money on arts.

Pollution is major cause of today's damaged environment due to carbon emission from chemical factories and vehicles has polluted the air. Similarly, water which is a basic need for survival is contaminated due to human activities such as - dumping trash in water bodies. Forests has been eliminated for industrial and personal purposes which has made our environment even more vulnerable. Natural disasters are another point of concern due to which many lives and environment damages occur; for an instance - recently due to government laxness an entire apartment community was destroyed in Seattle state due to landslide, resulting into human and animal deaths and devastating destruction of properties. Despite localities pleading state government of Seattle has not worked on the down slopping landslide happened few years back due to heavy rain in the area near which this apartments were located. Government's ignorance could cost heavy damage to innocent lives.

In many developing countries 50% population are not living in appropriate living area such as Bangladesh, Malaysia, and India. Gutters are kept uncovered due to which many diseases develop then they spread all over. People in this area have to consume water from dirty ponds or streams, where they wash their clothes as well. For an instance - in India people living under poverty line are living in slums that are full of insects and diseases. Government must build economic houses with basic facilities for people who cannot afford better living condition due to lack of finances to avoid epidemics and further damages to environment.

Art is useless if it is present or displayed in unhygienic environment. However investment in art might benefit few people but investment in maintaining our delicate environment will help infinite number of lives. Therefore, Government must invest money on protecting environment rather than wasting its money on not required pieces of art.

Mowonight 9 / 19  
Mar 28, 2014   #2
You should read back yourself and give a particular attention on punctuation, since you are making very long sentences ! :)
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Mar 28, 2014   #3
Well, do not complicate your ideas with too many big words, mostly synonyms to replace the words you find in the prompt. That destroys a beautiful flow of your ideas and confuses the reader to max :(

This intro is extremely puzzling due to the usage of inappropriate words in the wrong places :(
Pay more attention to clarity of your ideas. If you continue this trend in writing you will fall in great trouble :(


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