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IELTS 1 - (EXPENSES in a School in UK in 1981,1991 & 2001) - Pie Chart

mcuong01 12 / 24 3
Jan 19, 2013   #1
The three pie charts reveal the proportion of some kinds of expense in a particular school in the United Kingdom in 1981, 1991 and 2001. In general, the rate of salaries for teachers was the highest among other costs in all of three years, followed by payments for other workers, resources and furniture and equipment, whereas the lowest percentage was related to insurance.

More specifically, the proportion of teachers' salaries rose from 40% in 1981 to 50% in 1991 before going down back to 45% in 2001. Similarly, the percentage of resources such as books was a third higher in 1991 compared to the ratio of 15% in 1981, but dropped then to 9% in 2001. Furniture and equipment experienced an completely opposite trend as it constituted 15% of all expenses in 1981, decreased by 10% after 10 years prior to there was a sharp growth to 23% in 2001.

In regard to other workers' salaries, it made up a less and less percentage of total school expenditures, respectively 28%, 22% and 15%. By contrast, the figures for insurance constantly increased with only 2% in 1981 and 3% in 1991 to 8% in 2001.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553
Jan 19, 2013   #2
The first sentence is key to an essay.

The three pie charts reveal the proportion of some kinds of expense in a particular school in the United Kingdom in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

It's better if you simply specify what the expenses are exactly because by saying "some kinds of expenses" your sentence sounds shallow and vague.

In regard to other workers' salaries, it made up a less and less percentage of total school expenditures, respectively 28%, 22% and 15%.

Other worker's salaries were 28%, 22% and 15% in the respective years and were among the lowest expenditures of the total school expenditure.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592
Jan 19, 2013   #3
It's better if you simply specify what the expenses are exactly because by saying "some kinds of expenses" your sentence sounds shallow and vague.

This is good advice from Pahan. Yes, you need to introduce the graphical representation to the reader first; What does it represent? What are the key components? etc.

Do not leave it sound vague;

The three pie charts reveal the proportion of some kinds of expense in a particular school in the United Kingdom in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

The three pie charts reveal the proportion of five types of expenses during 1981, 1991 and 2001 in one of the schools in the UK. These five types of expenses include the expenses of salaries of teachers and other workers, furniture and equipment, insurance, resources such as books.

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