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Explain a risk you have taken in your life. What did you learn from it? - CBEST



Norbsidy 5 / 10  
Sep 6, 2019   #1
I am preparing for my CBEST writing exam this month. Please help me review my essay. I will appreciate any advise.

PROMPT:
Explain a risk you have taken in your life. What did you learn from it?

ANSWER:

Most times life is unpredictable, and sometimes we take risks to achieve certain goals in life. I used to hear this saying "love is blind" but I never knew I will be a victim. Three years ago, I met this beautiful girl on social media and after months of constant communication we fell in love. But the challenge was the distance between us because I lived and worked in Nigeria while she lived and worked in America. So, we decided to be visiting each other whenever we are on vacation. Though that was not enough. We later got married during one of her visits to Nigeria. But the major challenge was who will relocate amongst us because we need to live together as husband and wife.

I was working as a health and safety officer with an oil company in Nigeria and my wife was working as a registered nurse in America. This is where one of us needs to take a risk and relocate. I was so confused and scared. Lots of questions kept popping up in my head. If I relocate, how am I going to adjust to the new environment? What about my job? How I am I supposed to cope without my family and friends around me?

After much deliberation, I decided to face my fears and relocate. First, I went to my office and dropped my resignation letter. Also informed colleagues of my decision to join my wife in America and everyone was surprised. My little sister wouldn't stop crying because she loved staying around me. On the other hand, my wife was happy because am coming to live with her.

Five months later, I relocated to America and it was not an easy decision for me. It was difficult to settle down. I had culture shock, struggled to find the job of my choice, missed my friends and family. I became frustrated. But my wife supported me all the way. I learned their English language and culture. After four months I got a job. This made me stronger and I eventually settled down.

What I learned from it? I have learned to take bold steps and pursue my dreams. Without taking this risk I wouldn't have been able to be with my wife, learn new culture and American tradition. Today, I believe in taking reasonable and calculated risks because my success might depend on it.

tbui27 1 / 1  
Sep 7, 2019   #2
I don't know if this essay is a draft but there are some grammatical and punctuation errors that you need to address. Also sentence fragments. Another thing is the second question of the prompt, "what did you learn from it". Expand and write more about this. Consider why your wife moving to Nigeria is a bad/good thing for you. To defend it, your wife is a registered nurse and moving to a country in Africa means exposing herself to many illnesses that even America is facing right now. Example is E. Boli. Expand what dreams you have since you are moving to a "foreign" country for you. How would it affect getting a new job? What risks would you take then?


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